Nigger in Stolen Lamborghini Runs From LAPD, Meets the Bat Fairy!

[NiggerWrangler]

"Anything that goes that far aughta have a damned stewardess on it"

~ Crash Davis (Bull Durham)



Let me introduce you to our protagonist, Elliott Dugan. (51) Nigger Elliott is introduced to us in this photoplay via the Los Angeles Police Department, who discover our future aeronautics engineer asleep at a stoplight in a Lamborghini Hurican. (The "H" is silent!) The officer pulls alongside our sleeping nigger, shines a spotlight on the problem, then repositions himself behind the car in preparation.


The nigger is stopped and the officer asks for license, registration, etc. Nigger Elliott hands his driver's license over, but claims the car (with temporary tags) is a rental, after first claiming it's his, and hands over what appears to be a rental agreement. As the officer walks back to check things in the computer, other officers arrive.



Low and behold, the Lamborghini is reported stolen and Nigger Elliott has "multiple" felony arrest warrants. Shocking, I know!


The officer walks back to the car and asks the nigger to get out. Nigger Elliott, suddenly remembering he was an attorney, refused, asking what he did. There was some back and forth, with a significant amount of unintelligible niggerbabble. The officer tries to open the door and drag his black ass out, but it's locked!



After a couple of minutes Nigger Elliott decides to leave. The LAPD, air support and all, decide to follow. But not for long! Within a minute of his exit, Nigger Elliott is traveling at speeds in excess of 110 mph. It was at this time Nigger Elliott hits a tree and challenges the space-time continuum.



Police arrive at the wreckage. The Lambo is upside-down. They look for the nigger, who is nowhere to be found. By this time people are coming out of their homes. The police ask if they saw the nigger run away, but no one saw him.



Eventually the officers locate Nigger Elliott, or at least some of him, about 500 feet away from the largest piece of the Lamborghini. (It was an epically large debris field.)


LAPD blurred out Nigger Elliott before releasing bodycam footage. The nigger was dressed in dark clothing, but everything blurred is red.



Nigger Elliott initially claimed the car was his, before trying the rental story out. Had the nigger actually purchased the car, he could have taken part in a complimentary high performance driver training course. Pity.

[Whitey Ford]

'Tis a pity about the car. They retail for about $300K. The nigger himself had minus value, less than nothing. But, now the taxpayer is spared the expense of having to pay for the nigger's existence. $300K is a small price to pay for that. God Bless the Batfairy.

[animal mother]

I love happy endings. No humans injured and the bat fairy collects another useless nigger.

[Whitey Ford]

I love happy endings. No humans injured and the bat fairy collects another useless nigger.

True. But it is a pity about the car.

Reminds me of the handcart scene from Blazing Saddles.

[Nigroids]

Huracan is a fine name, but I'll bet they'd sell even better if they called it High-Velocity Nigger Yeet Device.

[NiggerWrangler]

Huracan is a fine name, but I'll bet they'd sell even better if they called it High-Velocity Nigger Yeet Device.

Named after a famous fighting bull. (All Lambos are.) A fantastic nigger launching tool!