Nigger Jokes

[tweakstick]

^^^



Disclaimer: The following jokes in no way advocate violence toward niggers! They are only jokes and should be taken only as such:

Q: What's the hardest thing about running over a nigglet?
A: My dick.

Q: What has 8 big black hairy legs and makes women scream?
A: Gang rape...

Q: What do you throw a drowning rockfish?
A: His fambly and a cinder block.

Q: How many niggers does it take to roof a house?
A: It depends on how thin they were sliced at the factory.

Q: What does the guy that has killed more Indians than the US Cavalry always say?
A: Gimme all duh money in dat register, muhfuggah!

Q: How many niggers does it take to grease a car suspension?
A: Depends on how fast you are driving when they wander out in front of you.

Q: What never makes it past five years without breaking?
A: A nigger hymen.

Q: What's black and white and black and white and black and white?
A: A nigger and a pelican fighting over a carp.

Q: How do you fit 100 Nigerians into a 48 quart cooler without cremating them?
A: Tell them it's a boat sailing to France.


If the camera adds ten pounds, do African nigglets really exist?


My sixth grade English teacher Mrs. Secreeshuh one day asked the class what could come at the end of a sentence. I stuck my hand up and said "A freed nigger." She screeched at me and told me I was wrong and that maybe I should reconsider my answer. I thought about it but apparently "The warden makes sure the nigger don't still have a pulse" wasn't the right one either. I spent a lot of time in detention that year.


Sorry guys, I need to wrap this up now. I'm at the mall right now and the biggest fucking nigger I've ever seen is apparently looking over my shoulder reading as I ty

[Bottle_of_Hate]

The president is flying in a helicopter in a tour of the south. He sees a nigger being towed on water skis behind a boat being driven by two white men. The president says "I like that. I like to see people of different races recreating together. Especially here in the south". The helicopter pilot says "Mr. President, you sure don't no nothing about alligator hunting."

[Ray Cizzums]

Q: What do Mr. Clean, and a taser, have in common ?
A: They'll both put a shine on the floor.

[Bottle_of_Hate]

Q: What do Mr. Clean, and a taser, have in common ?
A: They'll both put a shine on the floor.

[Bottle_of_Hate]

A nigger visits China, and one day finds a Chinese man skipping rocks across a pond. The nigger asks "whatchou be doin"?


The Chinese guy says "this is a magic pond. If you skip a rock across the surface of the water, you will hear the names of your ancestors.
Here, I'll show you.”


So the Chinese guy skips a flat rock across the pond, and in the air you can hear "Mao Tse Tung". The nigger, fascinated, says "do it agains".


The Chinese guy picks up another rock, skims it across the water, and in the air you hear "Chou En Lai". The nigger is beside itself, like he just got a look at a blonde white girl. Then the nigger says "will it works fo me"?


The Chinese guy says "SURE, this is a magic pond. Anybody can hear the names of their ancestors by skimming a rock across the water.


So the nigger picks up a rock, skims it across the water, and then listens to the air around him.


And it hears "chim pan zee'.

[DaveInTexas]

What is the National Day of Confusion for niggers?
Father's Day

Why do niggers call each other 'brother'?
Because they don't know who the father is

What's the difference between a nigger's dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back

What's the difference between a nigger's father and The Lost Ark?
You have a better chance of finding The Ark

Why don't niggers go to the zoo?
The zoo keepers keep putting them back in the primate exhibit

What do niggers consider public transportation?
A police car

What's a real damn shame?
A bus of niggers driving off a cliff, with 2 empty seats

Why are so many niggers in Detroit?
There are no jobs in Detroit

[Bottle_of_Hate]

The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while
visiting a primary school class, found themselves in
the middle of a discussion related to words and their
meanings.

The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead
the discussion of the word "tragedy". So the
illustrious Rev Jackson asks the class for an
example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best
friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field
and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead,
that would be a tragedy."

"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an
accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus
carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing
everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted Reverend Al.
"That's what we would call a great loss." The room
goes silent. No other children volunteered.

Reverend Al searches the room. "Isn't there someone
here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises
his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane
carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton were
struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that
would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That's
right. And can you tell me why that would be a
tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell
wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be
an accident either."

[Sandy]

Your second one especially, Dave, .

[haywood]

The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while
visiting a primary school class, found themselves in
the middle of a discussion related to words and their
meanings.

The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead
the discussion of the word "tragedy". So the
illustrious Rev Jackson asks the class for an
example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best
friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field
and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead,
that would be a tragedy."

"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an
accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus
carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing
everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted Reverend Al.
"That's what we would call a great loss." The room
goes silent. No other children volunteered.

Reverend Al searches the room. "Isn't there someone
here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises
his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane
carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton were
struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that
would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That's
right. And can you tell me why that would be a
tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell
wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be
an accident either."

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DaveInTexas]

The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while
visiting a primary school class, found themselves in
the middle of a discussion related to words and their
meanings.

The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead
the discussion of the word "tragedy". So the
illustrious Rev Jackson asks the class for an
example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best
friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field
and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead,
that would be a tragedy."

"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an
accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus
carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing
everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted Reverend Al.
"That's what we would call a great loss." The room
goes silent. No other children volunteered.

Reverend Al searches the room. "Isn't there someone
here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises
his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane
carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton were
struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that
would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That's
right. And can you tell me why that would be a
tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell
wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be
an accident either."

I love it

[DaveInTexas]

A cowboy, an Indian and a nigger were at a bar.

'Once we were many, now we are few', the Indian lamented

'Once wez were few, now wez many', the nigger said

'That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and niggers, yet', the Cowboy replied

[haywood]

A cowboy, an Indian and a nigger were at a bar.

'Once we were many, now we are few', the Indian lamented

'Once wez were few, now wez many', the nigger said

'That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and niggers, yet', the Cowboy replied

Good one!!

[CoonsЯus]

A nigger walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....

Barman says, " Hey, where did you get that? "

Parrot says " Africa, there's fucking millions of them out there ! "

[DaveInTexas]

Found these on the internet.

What do you call a nigger in a suit?
Defendant

What do you call a white surrounded by 5 niggers?
In trouble

What do you call a white surrounded by 1000 niggers?
Prison Warden

Why do so many niggers run track in school?
So they can train to out-run the cops, later

What's the difference between black and a nigger?
One's a color and one's a nigger

What do you call a nigger hanging from a tree?
Pinata

What do you call 100 dead niggers?
A good start

What do you call a black woman who gets an abortion?
A member of Crimestoppers of America.

Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.

Why do pill bottles have cotton buds in the top of them?
To remind niggers that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

What's black and white and goes rolling along the boardwalk?
A nigger and a pigeon fighting over a chicken wing!

What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
'Oh shit, I set WHO free'

Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving?
Kentucky Fried Chicken isn't open on holidays.

Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.

What's the best way to scare a nigger?
Hand him a job application

What did Whitney Houston and Apollo 13 have in common?
A major crack problem

What do you call a nigger driving a Cadillac?
Chauffeur

What's the best thing to happen to New Orleans?
Katrina

Whats faster then a nigger running with your TV?
His brother with the VCR.

Why do niggers have red eyes after sex?
Pepper spray.

A nigger was working one day... nah, nobody would ever believe that

How do you teach a nigger math?
If you had 5 bags of crack, and I bought 3, how many bags of crack would you have?

What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
why would you?

What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"

Why do niggers celebrate the 1st day of every month?
Welfare check day

What do nigger kids get for Christmas?
Your bike

Why are niggers like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work

Why did the nigger cross the road?
To rob the 7-11

What do you do if you run over a nigger?
Reverse.

What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
Niggers Are Always Causing Problems

What do you call a white man driving a black man?
Police officer

What do you call a group of niggers in jail?
A family reunion

How do you get 12 niggers in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check

How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.

What's the difference between the holy grail and a nigger's daddy?
You have a better chance of finding the holy grail

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

What do you call 10 niggers in a steam room?
Gorillas In The Mist.

What do you call a nigger after his white girlfriend breaks up with him?
Homeless.

What do you call a black-midget in Ireland?
A lepra-coon.

What do you call a nigger with an IQ of 15?
Gifted.

Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week

[CoonsЯus]

don't forget this one...

How do you stop 5 niggers from raping a white girl?

Toss them a basket ball !

[YT Rules]

Why did the nigger cross the road?

Its muh-dikk was stuck in the chicken!

[Jim Crow]

What does a Nigger sow and a hockey player have in common?
They both remove their pads after three periods.

[Odin's balls]

Why do white women date niggers?

To get their purse back.

[Whitey Ford]

Why do white women date niggers?

To get their purse back.

Did you ever hear the one about the Korean mudshark?
Die-soon Phrom Koon.

[Jim Crow]

What do you throw a drowning nigger ?
The rest of his family!