When approaching an armed nigger, ask the beast if it plans to use the weapon in any non-constructive way. If it answers "No," leave the ape be.

When subduing a groid, we recommend first using the "Love Hold" - a gentle embrace to show the criminger that you empathize with its historic plight.

In a situation in which a knuckle dragger has been cited for a crime, ask the alleged victim how he or she voted in the previous election. If the answer is Republican, assume that the individual is inherently racist and disregard any accusations against the wrongfully accused person of color.