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  1. #1
    Chimpout Member
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    nigfreewisconsin's Avatar
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    The Chimpout Weight Loss Program

    Not really a nigger encounter, per se, but as it involved reading about section ape welfare sows here, eh, close enough.

    I've got to admit, I put on a fair bit of weight back when the pandemic hit. Since a good chunk of the world was on house arrest from the Kung Flu, I know I am not alone in that regard.

    Problem is, the museum I work for, cut my hours back severely after reopening. I manage a replica of a large and famous model train layout, and the hours I do get simply are not enough, though somehow I still manage to keep things working and keep making improvements to make this replica as accurate as possible. Before Covid, I figured I was eating around 4000 calories a day and my weight was slowly going down. I've always been a bit on the heavyset side, but built like a quarterback with a fair amount of muscle in the arms and legs. Yeah my calorie consumption was high, but I was burning those calories. Managing a model train layout may not sound like much, but when the layout is sixteen feet by thirty-two feet, and you got to crawl under it to handle wiring issues (When I started the job the wiring, and there was over a mile of it, was woefully inadequate, way to thin to handle the amps the trains need) you end up burning a lot of calories. And to handle anything in the center of the layout, climb up, carefully step around trains, track, scenery, buildings, to do the work. That ends up burning calories too. And because the replica is based on a layout that was built nearly 75 years ago, not only do we use technology from that era to run it, no microchips, everything is electro-mechanical, but I use only tools that would have been used back then. No power drills, while they did exist then, it is known that the builders of the original did not use them. So, out comes the hand crank drill, which is far quieter than a power drill anyway. No power screwdrivers. Turn a screwdriver by hand just like they did 75 years ago.

    So suddenly we get a pandemic, the world goes on house arrest, and my body still expects to eat the way I had been, only then I wasn't burning what I consumed. No prizes for guessing where that going to get me!

    Earlier this year I took serious stock of how bad the problem is getting. and decided that this is like any other problem I deal with in my professional life. The longer it is ignored, the harder it will be to rectify. Rusty metal is easier to restore when is just light surface rust, and its easier to lose, say 40 pounds, than it would be to say, lose 80 pounds.

    As of a weigh in at my doctor's office yesterday, I am now back down to my pre-covid weight of 275 pounds. That is 80 pounds lost since February. How?

    The Chimpout Diet!

    What I was doing, was every time I wanted to grab a snack, every time my body asked for the calories I burned back when the museum had me working five days a week, I went in, and read about the massive land whale she boon welfare sows and asked myself if I wanted to look like a white man version of them? Or did some math and figured out how much I weighed less than them, when weights were known, and started figuring trajectories for when I would weigh more, should things keep going the way they were going. You know what? Suddenly that snack did not seem so tempting. Suddenly I found myself not needing it anymore.

    My doctor asked me what I was doing to lose weight, I just said, with my usual lack of tact, that I started reading the news about these massive welfare queens, and decided I wanted to keep my weight far from them. She did laugh about that one, and said 'sounds about right for you'.

    So thanks everyone, keep the stories about Shit'kan'da the welfare sow going, after all, losing the weight is good. Keeping it off is better.
    The only good coal burner runs on steel rails.

  2. #2
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    I aint bin dun did dat!'s Avatar
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    Good for you NFW! I need to do the same with smoking. Worst habit I ever picked up.

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