How to compliment a nigger

[Unregistered]

Why yes, I'm aware that today is the first of April. Why do you ask?

I have been giving serious thought in regards to my racist and hateful thoughts about niggers, and I have decided that as a form of reparations, I will make a list of things we should all say to colored people to make them feel better about themselves.

You look almost like a human.
You are so lucky to have so much melanin.
You speak english like a human, and I can actually understand what you are saying.
One plus one equals two? Holy shit! Holy shit. I'm standing next to Nicola Tesla.
I am so proud of you. You must be the first nigger in your family to have graduated from kindergarten.
When you wear that weave that you glued to your bald head, it's like you didn't even develop alopecia from your late stage syphilis infection. I didn't even notice!
I'm impressed by your ability to suck the marrow out of those chicken bones because you must be rich.
You really know how to eat without ever using a fork, spoon, or knife.
I'm so proud of you for wearing an inflatable vest while in the kiddie pool!
I wish I was as smart as you, Felonious. Please teach me how to scam the government for gibsmedats.
You didn't fuck something up once during your entire shift.
I could smell your vagina from literally a mile away. Is that eau d'égout?

[Ignatow]

It's about time you joined as a regular member. Your understanding of the niggers is exemplary.