By Raylynn Daniels
The udder day as I done sit in dee waiting room ub dee doctur’s office, I done pick up free copy ub dee local newpaper. Dee newpaper is title Dee Voice as it publish dee opinion ub its writurs and whatebber dey feel be journalism-worthy. Dee title ub an article at dee bottum ubs dee front page be wut catch me eye; it be titled “Why Don’t More Blacks Adopt?”
I done did read dee first few paragwaphs and as me kept reading, my face start cringe. Suddenly me wish doctor would hurry up and call me name so I could finna put down dis terrible piece of crap of an opinion. Me was no sure whedder to be angry dat someone actually fot dis be duh real reason why more blacks weren’t adopting and dee newspaper published it or to laugh at dee fact dat dis person fot it be dee true reason.
Dee reason, dee offur of dee article claim, be dat more blacks no adopt because of dee slavery. Yes, folks, slavery. Slabery bees dee “true” reason why black people no adopt. Dat must be dee answer to ebryting, yes? No.
Now, maybes dis article wuz write by someone who has a degwee in bwack studies. I do not want to seem like a nigger. Yes, we all know about slabery. It was tewwible, yeah, we gets it. Chirren was taken from dey parents, and all dat good stuff. Howevers, I no cry or get angwy on dee topic of slabery nor is dee “memories to painful”. What memories? Are memories of slabery coded into our DNApe to gibs us PTSD-like flashbacks? I habs no memowies of slabery whatsoever and neever do my gweat-gwandmother. I no suffer from dee troma of slabery.
1. If it no be ours, we no want it.
Unless wypipo gibs me dat fo fwee.
2. Adoption can be expensive.
Dat be why we use cote hangurz 2 aborts dee niglets.
3. Raising kids is expensive.
Unless wypipo pay fo ebryting.
4. Some of us are single.
And we habs dee unstaybul hows holed.
5. 75% of black children are born out-of-wedlock.
Are we expected to clean up the mess of our single sistas? Fuck that noise. That's the job of wypipo.
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Originally Posted by Goodman Grey
for being honest and intelligent, for a nigger. 
