I am embarrassed to post this. I debated doing so for a while now. I cannot remember the last time I was caught so off guard and allowed anything like this to happen.

Little Ms. Tweak is growing up and moving out. She's only going a mile down the street which puts her only 3 minutes away. It's hard on both of us, but she's a grown woman and wants to experience life on her own so we can't stop her. Still we worry.

She picked up her money order for her new apartment today and got her keys and we went to see her new digs. It was nice especially for a first apartment and the price was surprisingly cheap for the area. Our parish is notoriously white and proud of it. The previous tenant had left a washer and dryer behind so that was great news for us since it's about time she starts adulting as far as that goes so we were happy about that, at least.

When we got there, the washer and dryer were outside by the front door and I took them back inside and hooked them up. I fired the washer up and it seemed to work fine. I assumed the landlord put them out to clear the place out.

This was the first of a series of assumptions that would quickly bite us all in the ass and almost give me a rage stroke.

While busy cleaning and going over the place, I stepped out the side door where a nigger was waiting at the curb. He said he was looking for his washer and dryer. I was taken aback because I was under the impression that the apartment had been empty for at least a month while the place was being refurbished. I certainly did not know anything about the previous renter being a nigger. Now, I was starting to worry. He explained that he put them there to come back and pick them up later when he had an SUV big enough to carry them. I was already worried because I understood that the landlord only owned those three apartments and most folks in this town do not rent to niggers. I certainly didn't want my daughter to live in an apartment where niggers had lived, but it was totally refurbished with new appliances, paint, the works.

Me, being the honest person that I am, told him that I had taken them back inside and hooked them up not knowing that they belonged to anyone. I would never knowingly take anyone else's property - even, and especially, a nigger's. I actually helped him load the machine onto MY hand truck and back out the front door, then instructed my son to help him get it out of the apartment. This is when something started to not make sense to me. Mind you, things were very hectic and everyone was busy and distracted. As my son was helping him with the washer, I asked my daughter about the situation. She said that she didn't know who the guy was or why he was laying claim to them.

I walked back outside where I found this fat nigger trying to boss my son around telling him to go back inside and bring the dryer out (now I'm starting to fume) when I said "Exactly what is your relationship to the manager? Because I just found out that he said she could have these machines."

He just started in with "dem's my machines an I'ze here to gets um. I done drove all de way from Gretna to pick em up!"

By this time I fully realized that not only did it never live or work here I repeated, this time angrily "So you HAVE NO CONNECTION to these apartments or the landlord WHATSOEVER?!"

He starts in with "Dem's mines cause I seen em by duh curb and dis guy dat was out here tolds me I'ze could habs dems." By this time, my veins are pounding out of my forehead as I realize this nigger had no business in MY TOWN WHATSOEVER EITHER!

To which I replied "So some maintenance guy put them out here and you just assumed you could have them?"

"He say he doan care!" the nigger babbled. "Is you goan let me gets thuh othuhh maching oh nots?"

Seeing as how this nigger already had one machine loaded up, and possession being 9/10's of the law I realized that there was no way that this fat nigger was going to get it back out of his hooptee. My only option at that point would be to get the law involved. I also knew damn well that the deputies were in no mood to deal with any nigger shit these days and would rather not have a nigger screaming RAYCISS at them. I almost wanted to do it just for the principle of the thing but I had my daughter to think about. Last year at this time, the cops would have showed up, ran the nigger for warrants and likely carted him of to live nigger storage. Today, they fear for their jobs like I feared for little Ms. Tweak's safety.

The nigger stood there muttering to itself and I finally said "Just take the damn thing and get the hell out of here!"

The Missy didn't really seem to want it at that point anyway since the fat greasy nigger had his paws all over it and I didn't blame her. I think she was a little freaked out about the whole thing. I was just pissed and probably bent the steering wheel by beating on it the whole way home.

If you guys never hear from me again, it's because my blood congealed in my arteries overnight having cooked while coursing through my overheated head. I'm not getting over this anytime soon. I moved here to get away from niggers. I shouldn't have to deal with this shit and I can't wait to get to the Ozarks. As much as I enjoy my privacy and being able to walk around in my skivvies, I'm going to have to insist that my daughter comes and stays with us until we find her a place up there - preferably within eye-shot.