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  1. #1
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    Nigger Destroys Restroom at Business Owners Expense

    My brother owns an auto parts store. On a beautiful Saturday summer afternoon, a 400 pound or so sheboon comes knuckling in and up to the counter.

    This was an oddity because we don't have too awfully many niggers out our way, they just don't come around often.

    She requested to use the baffroom. The ladies room is in the hallway leading out to the warehouse, so he directed her in that direction. She waddled like a penguin towards the ladies room.

    A customer came in, a couple of phone calls, another customer. Maybe 15 to 20 minutes had elapsed when my brother realized she was still in the restroom.

    He walked to the door and listened... initially no sound, so he tried the knob to see if it was locked, being about 99% certain he didn't see her leave.

    It was locked. He was about to knock to ask if she was OK when he heard a flush.

    He went back to the counter and started closing down for the day. Eventually the sheboon opened the door and knuckled her way out, not ever so much as acknowledging my brother or thanking him for using the facilities.

    He was just relieved she left 5 minutes before 5, as 5 was closing time. The last thing he wanted to do was hang around after hours while Aunt Jemima was in there taking a shit.

    At 5 he walked over to the front entrance doors to lock up. When he turned around to walk to the hallway to kill the lights, he saw wet footprints coming from the restroom hallway.

    He immediately walked
    to the ladies room where a shit stench permeated the hallway. Finding the door locked, he thought WTF? Now he had to locate a key that probably hadn't been used or even seen since he moved in several years earlier.

    Thankfully, a short search located the key with the help from an off duty counterman who answered his phone on his day off.

    My brother unlocked the door and swung it open. It was as bad as he had visualized. Not only did it stink to high heaven, shit water was all over the floor, the toilet bowl was empty except for what looked like half a roll of brown toilet paper... paper macheted to the bottom! The TP holder was holding a bare cardboard tube, the spare roll and tube completely missing.

    The last thing he wanted to do when he should have been out of there was cleaning up after this filthy nigger, but the smell would've wrecked the place if he left the mess until Monday morning.

    He gave it a test flush and to no surprise, the water filled the bowl to the top of the rim and it stayed right there. It took 3 or 4 minutes for the water to recede only an inch.

    He got the mop and bucket, gloves and a garbage bag and proceeded to unload the bowl once the shitwater level receded. Just plain disgustingly nasty.

    Another test flush with the same results prompted a trip to the men's room to get the plunger, returning to the stink filled area to plunge the toilet, which only resulted in more water on the floor. I could visualize him plunging away saying "fucking nigger, fucking nigger, fucking nigger" with every stroke.

    (When he told me this story, I could not contain myself from exploding in violent laughter)

    He tried for 15 mins to plunge it with no success, only making the mess bigger and the stench worse.

    He spent the next 30 mins calling plumbers and talking to their answering services, eventually one called him back about 10 minutes later. It was already well past 6pm.

    The plumber said he could be there in 20 mins, and if it was a quick fix, he'd even waive the after hours surcharge.

    20 minutes almost to the mark, a car rolls up to the front door, the trunk pops open and out hops a guy who retrieves a "closet auger" from the trunk.

    A closet auger is a specialized tool, basically a snake to make short, clean work of cleaning out the trap built into the base of the toilet, normally the root of the problem of a terminally clogged shitter.

    The plumber came in, introduced himself and 10 minutes later, announced that the blockage must be in the drain line and not in the toilet. More smell and more shit water on the floor too.

    He said he could be back in an hour with his truck and a snake, but from this point he would be on the clock.

    My brother had no choice because not a single additional plumber had responded to the messages he left.

    A little before 7, the plumber left for his shop, my brother ran home to shower and grab a bite. He was back at the store in an hour, the plumber pulling up in his van a few minutes after that.

    Long story short, after removing the toilet from the floor, then 45 minutes and several sections of cable later, the plumber retrieved a womans pair of underwear, about the size of a feed sack from the building drain... he estimated they nearly made it all the way to the sewer main at the street by the amount of cable he used, the cable sections now stacked in the hallway, shit water oozing from them onto a walk off mat.

    There was shit spray everywhere. The walls, the floor, the stall, most from the spinning drain cleaning machine. It now smelled the worse it had all day!

    At 9pm, after re-setting the shitter on the floor, my brother paid the plumber $300 and he left leaving my brother another hour plus of work to clean up the shit mess which included a trip to the store for additional cleaning supplies.

    All in all, about $325 in expenses and 5 non revenue hours of extra work spent at the store.

    All because he let a nasty coon in to use the baffroom.

    The ladies room now has an "Electrical Closet" sign on the door and remains locked. A "No Public Restroom" sign is clearly visible at the front door because a "No niggers" sign be rayciss.


    N.A.A.C.P.
    = Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Carrying Pistols
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Copping Pleas

  2. #2
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    It's not a restaurant, so there's no legal obligation to provide toilet facilities. Also, restrooms are for paying customers only, or at his discretion (meaning no niggers, humans, maybe). And in this day of coonrona, even restaurants say no restrooms available. I am really sorry this happened to your brother. He probably got distracted. Fucking sow, of course has no regard for anyone but itself. No thanks, well that's what niggers do, such ungrateful bastards. I'm sure from now on, if a nigger aksed for the restroom, the polite answer would be "it's broken". The appropriate, but costly, answer is, "get the fuck out nigger".
    Coalburning is bestiality.

  3. #3
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    UNDERWEAR?

    Seriously... Underwear. You fat nasty sow. Most niggers don't bother to wear them and this nasty waddling biohazard decides to ditch them in a store of all places. In the toilette. Class act nigger, way to go. Niggers ruin everything and this one just ruined it for everyone else who doesn't behave like that.
    tweakstick \ˈtwēkˈstik\ 1: A small plastic calibration tool, used for making adjustments on electrical or mechanical equipment. 2: A large wooden calibration tool, used for making adjustments on antiquated farm equipment.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by tweakstick View Post
    UNDERWEAR?

    Seriously... Underwear. You fat nasty sow. Most niggers don't bother to wear them and this nasty waddling biohazard decides to ditch them in a store of all places. In the toilette. Class act nigger, way to go. Niggers ruin everything and this one just ruined it for everyone else who doesn't behave like that.
    TNB to the 10TH degree!! FUCKING DISGUSTING sow!!!!

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  6. #5
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    The whole time she was in there I can imagine her reciting "I'll be fucking whitey, but good!" The more I envision that the madder I get.

    Many moons ago I worked for the phone company and back when they had human operators they had a title of central office repairman. He was responsible for keeping the operator positions operating and that included fixing the chairs the heifers sat on. Most of the time a couple squirts of lps would be all you would need to get them spinning again. I had to sub for the repairman who was on vacation. The boss come by one day and noticed a bunch of chairs in the corner and asked what gives. I replied they were there when I got here so I figured there was some special reason. Upon closer inspection the seats all had skid marks on them and some looked like they were bathed in shit. Then he told me to handle it. I called him back in his office and gave him a list of cleaning supplies to be brought to me that included rubber gloves, face masks, paper jump suits, brushes and upholstery cleaner. He brought the stuff the next morning and I began. Turning them over I noticed they were numbered for the operator's positions so they could be returned to their rightful owner. After cleaning them I got into the house service closet and got a case of bon ami cleanser. This is basically ground glass with some blue shit to give it some color. I gave each and every chair a healthy dose of cleanser to where if you smacked the seat with your hand it would smoke like a bomb went off. Back into the jungle they went. After about 2 days I started noticing the nigger sows scratching their ass complaining they be all broken out down there. For the rest of the time I subbed for Fred I'd dose the fuck out of the chairs with skid marks. Pretty soon the problem disappeared because the niggers started wearing sci-vies.

  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by zagnut View Post
    ... if you smacked the seat with your hand it would smoke like a bomb went off...
    That is some funny shit zag!


    N.A.A.C.P.
    = Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Carrying Pistols
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Copping Pleas

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ignatow View Post
    ...the polite answer would be "it's broken"..
    My first gas station job in high school was from whenever I got there after school til 10pm.

    Day shift was walking out having ended their shift after diligently cleaning the restrooms.

    I learned quickly to immediately lock and hang the "Out of Order" sign on the ladies restroom door as soon as the owner left.

    If anyone complained, I'd tell them they were welcome to use the men's room. They'd say eww and leave.

    At 10, a quick mop down of the men's head then pulling down the sign from the ladies room and I was on my way home.

    This was back when oil companies prided themselves with crystal clean restrooms. They were to be inspected and the card on the inside of the door initialed on the hour.

    This was an old school joint, 3 service bays, a parts room, the office and 2 restrooms around the side of the building.


    N.A.A.C.P.
    = Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Carrying Pistols
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Copping Pleas

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  10. #8
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    I spent my late teen years working in a grocery store before enlisting. I can tell you all that the women's head was the most disgusting place you can possible imagine compared to the men's. The men's room only had the eternal piss stain under the urinal and the occasional overflow or clogs. Nothing can compare to the women's after the first or fifteenth when the fooh stayupms come out. The teenigg sows were the worst. Until my dying days, I'll never forget finding graphitti written in blood on the wall only to turn around and find the... uhhmm... paintbrush hanging from the door latch. Girls go to the restroom in teams for reasons that it took me years to somewhat understand. Teenigger sows go into restrooms in herds and do things which no human can possibly EVER understand.

    Thanks bitches. I had to clean that shit up.
    tweakstick \ˈtwēkˈstik\ 1: A small plastic calibration tool, used for making adjustments on electrical or mechanical equipment. 2: A large wooden calibration tool, used for making adjustments on antiquated farm equipment.

  11. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by tweakstick View Post
    Girls go to the restroom in teams for reasons that it took me years to somewhat understand. Teenigger sows go into restrooms in herds and do things which no human can possibly EVER understand.
    Thank the Good Lawd for that!! Please, whatever you do, do NOT explain!!

    (I think this thread deserves a sticky...)
    "Tolerance for monkeyshines is in direct proportion to distance from the monkeys."

  12. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheboon DeLuxe View Post
    Thank the Good Lawd for that!! Please, whatever you do, do NOT explain!!
    The human females go in pairs for company and practicality. They tend to like to bullshit while one is at the mirror and the other in the stall. For practicality, if the roll runs out or some other needed item is discovered and you are by yourself, you're screwed and just gonna have to drip dry or worse.

    Maybe a bit of an oversimplification according to Mrs. Tweak but that's the gist of it. That wasn't so bad now was it?

    As far as the sows go, it's like I said. No-one understands so I can't explain. It's not like they use toilette paper or any other hygiene products for that matter so what's the point...
    tweakstick \ˈtwēkˈstik\ 1: A small plastic calibration tool, used for making adjustments on electrical or mechanical equipment. 2: A large wooden calibration tool, used for making adjustments on antiquated farm equipment.

  13. #11
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    Lacking and direct knowledge of the interior of public ladies rooms, I have to rely on the experience of Mrs AM. Apparently the human female views the toilet seat in public restrooms as something to avoid sitting on at all cost as if we’re made of molten lava. They will squat rather than sit and the resulting flow of urine will be sprayed over the seat and of course the floor. This seems to be especially true with older women.

    My experience was almost as vile while serving in Vietnam. Since any modern sanitation did not exist in most villages, it was not unusual to see some old mama san drop trough and pinch a loaf over a benjo ditch.

  14. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by tweakstick View Post
    ...Thanks bitches. I had to clean that shit up.
    Yes exactly!

    A school buddy I worked with actually came up with the idea for Friday nights when we wanted to go at 2200 and the womans shithouse was wrecked, and as you stated, all that was required next door was a slight swing of the mop under the pisser, nothing ever in the waste can either.

    This worked so well on Friday night, it got extended to a daily M-F routine!


    N.A.A.C.P.
    = Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Carrying Pistols
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Copping Pleas

  15. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by tweakstick View Post
    ...I think every public restroom should have buried basin urinals - the 4 foot tall kind that sink into the floor...
    When we were in shop class in high school, the shop locker/restroom area had one of those in the corner. Also had one of those 6' round sinks with the foot valve.

    Anyway, after every shop class, our ex Jar Head instructor would get big wood by ordering us to "Clean up Shop". And he meant Marine clean... which included brooming the floor with sweeping compound including the locker area.

    You can guess where the sweeping compound went from the locker room, straight down the built in dust pan with enough flushes to make it disappear down the chrome strainer.

    The school janitor was in about once a week with an acid pour trying to get the urinal unclogged. He could never figure why it kept backing up!

    Probably why they don't use 'em anymore!


    N.A.A.C.P.
    = Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Carrying Pistols
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Copping Pleas

  16. #14
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    ^^Yeah, the P-trap becomes non-serviceable once they are installed so anything you dump that gets stuck and can't be loosened up with a snake has to get removed with a sledge hammer.



    O.K. One last sea story. Remember, like all sea stories, this is a no shitter. It is, however, a real pisser full of shit:

    I had the JOOD watch at the base Quarterdeck one day. For you civilians not in the know, this is basically a sit on your ass and answer the phone all day job at the base Skipper's office. Nothing much happens as long as a plane doesn't crash or something else major happens. The building was built in the 50's with a style of urinals that had an unusually large bowl that stayed full of water like a regular toilette until you flushed it. It somewhat resembled a regular toilette but stuck out from the wall instead of the floor just under the average man's crotch level and had no seat. Several would be mounted on the wall side by side just like urinals. Privacy partitions were not a thing back then but neither were meat gazers so they weren't even thought of.

    The building housed several offices one of which was the base legal services office. From time to time, and old retired geezer would come in needing a will written or POA signed etc.

    One quiet day, an older than dirt retired fellow came in and asked where the legal office and the head were. I sent him down the hall toward both. He gruffly thanked me and walked on. Some 15 minutes later, I'm sitting there bullshitting with my driver when we start hearing screaming and beating on walls. The only things we could make out were a string of expletives separated by phrases like "I spent 30 GD years in the fucking Army and this is how you treat me you mother fuckers?" Somebody better bring me a GD roll of *&%@ toilette paper before *&^$! and this place %$!@ MOTHER FUCKERS!!!"

    I quickly dispatched my driver down the hall to find out what the commotion was before the Skipper came out to deal with it himself. It was right across the hall from his office and he was in the middle of a meeting with the Admiral. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. By the time he got there, some half a dozen guys had bolted into the head thinking someone was hurt or something else serious.

    My driver, Airman Wutduhfuck, stood there not knowing what to do just like the rest of them. You've got to understand this isn't something we train for, you know. Lucky for all of them, his wife heard the commotion and came running as fast as her legs and her walker would allow. We turned the situation over to her and made sure no-one else entered the head while she took care of him. Lucky me, I was about to get off watch and didn't have to deal with any of the cleanup aftermath.

    Getting old might not be so bad without the indignities of getting old. If you shit all over yourself as a baby, no-one bats an eye. Let a full grown man do it and everyone talks and laughs about it for what... I guess it's been about 25 years now?

    Poor old crusty bastard never did get to talk to anyone at the legal office.
    tweakstick \ˈtwēkˈstik\ 1: A small plastic calibration tool, used for making adjustments on electrical or mechanical equipment. 2: A large wooden calibration tool, used for making adjustments on antiquated farm equipment.

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  18. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by tweakstick View Post
    ..."meat gazers"...
    You come up with the funniest shit Tweek!

    And about those pissers you described above... the wall mounted units that resemble a bowl... I remember them well in my elementary school building circa 1930.

    If I remember correctly, they had the same ones in the ladies head... in the stalls, I think they squatted over them since we all know women have that natural instinct to make no contact with a seat.

    And furthermore, I 100% agree with you that there is no place like shitting at home!

    I'll drive 100 miles with a stomach ache to get home before I'd shit at a gas station!


    N.A.A.C.P.
    = Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Carrying Pistols
    N.A.A.C.P. = Niggers Are Always Copping Pleas

  19. #16
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    I'll drive 100 miles with a stomach ache to get home before I'd shit at a gas station!


    I feel the same way but sometimes there is no option to drive all the way home.

    When those cramps hit you in the lower gut and it starts to rumble like a thunderstorm off in this distance. You feel your asshole go to defcon 1 and you know it won't be able to hold off the inevitable for long. The sweat begins to run down your face and you start praying. That very first run down road side rest stop or questionable looking gas station will look like a beautiful oasis in the middle of the desert. I'm gonna do it and I don't care what the shitter looks like, it's either that or shit your pants and ruin the inside of your vehicle forever.
    "About ten minutes I'm gonna be back, you better be fucking gone!"

  20. #17
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    Dig a hole.
    Squat and shit.
    Wipe my ass with some leaves. (Watch out for poison ivy I'm not making THAT mistake again)
    Kick some dirt over my turds.
    Keep walking.
    Ok so you have met my cat?

  21. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by animal mother View Post
    Ok so you have met my cat?
    I keep an E-tool and a roll of TP, behind the seats in my pickup. As a former 11B, I prefer a field expedient shit, which I always bury.
    This keeps the false Bigfoot reports to a minimum. I don't want anyone to think Big Mike Obama is nearby.

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  23. #19
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    Click image for larger version. 

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  25. #20
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    Click image for larger version. 

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    "About ten minutes I'm gonna be back, you better be fucking gone!"

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