Nigger Jokes

[Bottle_of_Hate]

I think we need a nigger joke thread. I'll start

A nigger, muslim, and a white guy at a construction site. They find something shiny in the dirt. When they wipe it off, a genie pops out and offers them each one wish.

Nigger: I want my own country so my brothers and sisters can live in peace.

Muslim: I want my own country so my brothers and sisters can live in peace.

White Guy: Let me get this straight. The niggers are going to live in their own country and the muslims are going to live in their own country?

Genie: That's right!

White guy: Fuck it. I'll take a diet coke.




A few years ago I found out that Al Sharpton was going to speak at a church a few miles from where I live, so I decided to go check him out. After his sermon he approached me, put his hand on my shoulder and said "Brother, through the power of Jesus you will walk today." I thought he had singled me out because I was the only white person there. I told him nothing was wrong with me and I was healthy. Again Al said "Brother, through the power of Jesus you will walk today." When I left the church I discovered my car had been stolen.

[Bottle_of_Hate]

This guy lived way up north. Tired of the snow, he tied a snow blower to the roof of his car and told his wife to get in. He said they were going to drive south until nobody had any idea what a snow blower was. They stopped for gas in GA. A man asked what that was tied to his roof. At that moment he knew this was to be his new home. Months later friends of the couple decided to visit them in GA. They went to the couples house to find nobody home. They asked the neighbors if they had seen the couple. The neighbors replied, We saw them leaving the neighborhood yesterday with a nigger tied to the roof of their car!

[Bottle_of_Hate]

Anaheim, California: CNN reported today that Walt Disney's new film called "Jet Black", which is the African-American version of "Snow White" has been canceled. All of the 7 dwarfs: Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Forger, Drive By, Homeboy, and Shank, have refused to sing "Hi Ho, Hi Ho" because they say it offends Black prostitutes. They also say they have absolutely no intention of singing "It's off to work we go."

[Bottle_of_Hate]

What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn't drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn't collect welfare, and doesn't rape White women? An inmate.

[Bottle_of_Hate]

A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked “May I help you?” The farmer said “Yea, I want to get one of them dayvorces.” The attorney said “Well do you have any grounds?” The farmer said “Yea, I got 140 acres.” The attorney said “No, you don’t understand. Do you have a case?” The farmer said, “No I don’t have a Case. I have a John Deere”. The Attorney said “No, you do not understand. I mean do you have a grudge?” The farmer said, “Yea, that is where I park my John Deere.” The attorney said “No sir. I mean do you have a suit?” The farmer said “Yes sir. I wear it to church on Sunday”. The Attorney said “Well does your wife beat you up or anything?” The farmer said “No we both get up at 4:30.” The attorney said “Well, is she a nagger?” The farmer said “No she is a little white girl. But our last child was a nagger and that is why I want a dayvorce.”

[Bottle_of_Hate]

I think this would be a wonderful opportunity to pause for a moment and give thanks for the great contributions of the Black community to our society. Their peaceful and generous nature make them ideal neighbors, lending testimony to their exceptional family values and parenting skills unrivaled by any other culture. Their commitment to academic excellence enriches our schools and serves as an example to all who hope to achieve prominence as a people. Real estate values are fueled by the mix of African Americans into an area due to their caring and respectful nature of these communities, an example of all they have achieved through their enthusiasm for self improvement by hard work and a self-reliant can-do nature. Without their industrious and creative drive, we would be poorer as a nation.

[Bottle_of_Hate]

In a first grade class on the first day of school, the teacher wanted to get to know all the students, so she had them all stand up and say their names. A little niglet stood up and said that his name was "Mother Fucker." "Excuse me?" asked the incredulous teacher. "That's right ho, my name be Mother Fucker." "Well listen here," said the teacher, "this may be the first day of school, and you may think you can use foul language to get attention, but I can assure you that I won't tolerate it. Now, tell me your real name right now or I will send you straight to the principal's office." The black boy replied, "Look bitch, I said my name be Mother Fucker, and I mean ta tell ya, it be Mother Fucker!" "Well, that's it! Get out of my classroom right now!" The boy headed for the door and when he got there he turned to his twin brother who was also in the classroom and said, "Come on, Fuck Face, the bitch ain't gonna believe you either."

[Bottle_of_Hate]

Nigger walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doctuh, you gots ta hep me! I'm dyin' and it hurts!" "Well, where does it hurt, boy?" "Oh lawd, it hurts here," pointing to his leg, "And it hurts here," pointing to his arm, "And it's killin' me here," pointing to his stomach. After a full examination, the doctor says, "Get out of my office you asshole, all you have is a broken finger!"

[Bottle_of_Hate]

Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two groids turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!" "Bet, dog," says the other bootlip, and he goes inside. 10 minutes later, you wouldn't believe it. That nigger was blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!" "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Purple Gummed Tree Climber]

Leticia goes down to the playground and turns 5 tricks @ $20 each.

On the way home, she stops at da likka sto and picks up a case of Colt fortify for $10.

A few minutes later, she runs into her cousin Beyonce and gives her $10 so she can buy some waddymellon flavored condoms.

Just as she get's back to her creeib,, she notices a brutha passed out drunk on the sidewalk. Out of the goodness of her heart,
she leaves the brutha $2 so he'll have a happy kwaanza.


How much money does Leticia have left ??




None. Leroy smacked her and took it all.

[haywood]

Leticia goes down to the playground and turns 5 tricks @ $20 each.

On the way home, she stops at da likka sto and picks up a case of Colt fortify for $10.

A few minutes later, she runs into her cousin Beyonce and gives her $10 so she can buy some waddymellon flavored condoms.

Just as she get's back to her creeib,, she notices a brutha passed out drunk on the sidewalk. Out of the goodness of her heart,
she leaves the brutha $2 so he'll have a happy kwaanza.


How much money does Leticia have left ??




None. Leroy smacked her and took it all.

What are the 2 best ways of babysitting a hyper nigglet? 1) Wet their bootlips and stick them to a wall. 2) By a trampoline and put Velcro on the ceiling. How do you get them down? Kidnap a Mexican kid and blindfold him, put a hammer in his hand and tell him it's a piñata!!!!

[DaveInTexas]

How do you starve a nigger?

Take his government check and hide it underneath a job application

[Purple Gummed Tree Climber]

Why do niggers have flat noses and big lips ??

Because when theyr'e born, the doctor has to step on the back of their head,, so he can pull out the tail.

[Ray Cizzums]

Q: What do Mr. Clean, and a taser, have in common ?
A: They'll both put a shine on the floor.

[Coon Town]

Did you hear that David Copperfield got AIDS?
Yeah, he was messing with Magic.

[MegaBeef]

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number
of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of
children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman
behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of
children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your
children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very
unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked
the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."

[DaveInTexas]

Found these on the internet.

What do you call a nigger in a suit?
Defendant

What do you call a white surrounded by 5 niggers?
In trouble

What do you call a white surrounded by 1000 niggers?
Prison Warden

Why do so many niggers run track in school?
So they can train to out-run the cops, later

What's the difference between black and a nigger?
One's a color and one's a nigger

What do you call a nigger hanging from a tree?
Pinata

What do you call 100 dead niggers?
A good start

What do you call a black woman who gets an abortion?
A member of Crimestoppers of America.

Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.

Why do pill bottles have cotton buds in the top of them?
To remind niggers that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

What's black and white and goes rolling along the boardwalk?
A nigger and a pigeon fighting over a chicken wing!

What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
'Oh shit, I set WHO free'

Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving?
Kentucky Fried Chicken isn't open on holidays.

Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.

What's the best way to scare a nigger?
Hand him a job application

What did Whitney Houston and Apollo 13 have in common?
A major crack problem

What do you call a nigger driving a Cadillac?
Chauffeur

What's the best thing to happen to New Orleans?
Katrina

Whats faster then a nigger running with your TV?
His brother with the VCR.

Why do niggers have red eyes after sex?
Pepper spray.

A nigger was working one day... nah, nobody would ever believe that

How do you teach a nigger math?
If you had 5 bags of crack, and I bought 3, how many bags of crack would you have?

What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
why would you?

What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"

Why do niggers celebrate the 1st day of every month?
Welfare check day

What do nigger kids get for Christmas?
Your bike

Why are niggers like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work

Why did the nigger cross the road?
To rob the 7-11

What do you do if you run over a nigger?
Reverse.

What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
Niggers Are Always Causing Problems

What do you call a white man driving a black man?
Police officer

What do you call a group of niggers in jail?
A family reunion

How do you get 12 niggers in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check

How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.

What's the difference between the holy grail and a nigger's daddy?
You have a better chance of finding the holy grail

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

What do you call 10 niggers in a steam room?
Gorillas In The Mist.

What do you call a nigger after his white girlfriend breaks up with him?
Homeless.

What do you call a black-midget in Ireland?
A lepra-coon.

What do you call a nigger with an IQ of 15?
Gifted.

Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week

[CoonsЯus]

don't forget this one...

How do you stop 5 niggers from raping a white girl?

Toss them a basket ball !

[YT Rules]

Why did the nigger cross the road?

Its muh-dikk was stuck in the chicken!

[Jim Crow]

What does a Nigger sow and a hockey player have in common?
They both remove their pads after three periods.