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Thread: Nigger Jokes

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    Nigger Jokes

    I think we need a nigger joke thread. I'll start

    A nigger, muslim, and a white guy at a construction site. They find something shiny in the dirt. When they wipe it off, a genie pops out and offers them each one wish.

    Nigger: I want my own country so my brothers and sisters can live in peace.

    Muslim: I want my own country so my brothers and sisters can live in peace.

    White Guy: Let me get this straight. The niggers are going to live in their own country and the muslims are going to live in their own country?

    Genie: That's right!

    White guy: Fuck it. I'll take a diet coke.




    A few years ago I found out that Al Sharpton was going to speak at a church a few miles from where I live, so I decided to go check him out. After his sermon he approached me, put his hand on my shoulder and said "Brother, through the power of Jesus you will walk today." I thought he had singled me out because I was the only white person there. I told him nothing was wrong with me and I was healthy. Again Al said "Brother, through the power of Jesus you will walk today." When I left the church I discovered my car had been stolen.

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    This guy lived way up north. Tired of the snow, he tied a snow blower to the roof of his car and told his wife to get in. He said they were going to drive south until nobody had any idea what a snow blower was. They stopped for gas in GA. A man asked what that was tied to his roof. At that moment he knew this was to be his new home. Months later friends of the couple decided to visit them in GA. They went to the couples house to find nobody home. They asked the neighbors if they had seen the couple. The neighbors replied, We saw them leaving the neighborhood yesterday with a nigger tied to the roof of their car!

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    Anaheim, California: CNN reported today that Walt Disney's new film called "Jet Black", which is the African-American version of "Snow White" has been canceled. All of the 7 dwarfs: Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Forger, Drive By, Homeboy, and Shank, have refused to sing "Hi Ho, Hi Ho" because they say it offends Black prostitutes. They also say they have absolutely no intention of singing "It's off to work we go."

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    What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn't drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn't collect welfare, and doesn't rape White women? An inmate.

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    A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked “May I help you?” The farmer said “Yea, I want to get one of them dayvorces.” The attorney said “Well do you have any grounds?” The farmer said “Yea, I got 140 acres.” The attorney said “No, you don’t understand. Do you have a case?” The farmer said, “No I don’t have a Case. I have a John Deere”. The Attorney said “No, you do not understand. I mean do you have a grudge?” The farmer said, “Yea, that is where I park my John Deere.” The attorney said “No sir. I mean do you have a suit?” The farmer said “Yes sir. I wear it to church on Sunday”. The Attorney said “Well does your wife beat you up or anything?” The farmer said “No we both get up at 4:30.” The attorney said “Well, is she a nagger?” The farmer said “No she is a little white girl. But our last child was a nagger and that is why I want a dayvorce.”

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    I think this would be a wonderful opportunity to pause for a moment and give thanks for the great contributions of the Black community to our society. Their peaceful and generous nature make them ideal neighbors, lending testimony to their exceptional family values and parenting skills unrivaled by any other culture. Their commitment to academic excellence enriches our schools and serves as an example to all who hope to achieve prominence as a people. Real estate values are fueled by the mix of African Americans into an area due to their caring and respectful nature of these communities, an example of all they have achieved through their enthusiasm for self improvement by hard work and a self-reliant can-do nature. Without their industrious and creative drive, we would be poorer as a nation.

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    In a first grade class on the first day of school, the teacher wanted to get to know all the students, so she had them all stand up and say their names. A little niglet stood up and said that his name was "Mother Fucker." "Excuse me?" asked the incredulous teacher. "That's right ho, my name be Mother Fucker." "Well listen here," said the teacher, "this may be the first day of school, and you may think you can use foul language to get attention, but I can assure you that I won't tolerate it. Now, tell me your real name right now or I will send you straight to the principal's office." The black boy replied, "Look bitch, I said my name be Mother Fucker, and I mean ta tell ya, it be Mother Fucker!" "Well, that's it! Get out of my classroom right now!" The boy headed for the door and when he got there he turned to his twin brother who was also in the classroom and said, "Come on, Fuck Face, the bitch ain't gonna believe you either."

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    Nigger walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doctuh, you gots ta hep me! I'm dyin' and it hurts!" "Well, where does it hurt, boy?" "Oh lawd, it hurts here," pointing to his leg, "And it hurts here," pointing to his arm, "And it's killin' me here," pointing to his stomach. After a full examination, the doctor says, "Get out of my office you asshole, all you have is a broken finger!"

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    The Pope, a boyscout, and the smartest nigger in the world are on an airplane. The engines fail, the plane starts going down, and there is only 2 parachutes. The smartest nigger in the world says, "Due to my extraordinarily high intelligence, I believe it is imperative that I survive and continue to show my people the path to greatness." He grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The Pope tells the boyscout, "I am an old man and I am ready to meet God, so you may use the remaining parachute, my son." The boyscout replies, "No, that's cool Pope, we both have parachutes because that nigger just jumped out of the plane with my backpack."

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    There is this rich Texas rancher who has a 100 meter long swimming pool with a shark in it. He has always said if anyone could swim from one end to the other without being eaten, he would give them either his daughter or his ranch. Well, his beautiful daughter had gone off to art school in New York and brought a nigger classmate home to one of her Dad's big barbeques. Of course, everyone is talking about how fucked up it is that the rancher's daughter brought a nigger there, when all of a sudden there was a huge splash. Everyone looked, and it was the nigger swimming his black ass off with the shark hot on his trail. At the other end of the pool the nigger threw himself out of the water and lay gasping and panting on the ground. The rancher came up and said, "Well, shit. I am a man of my word, so do you want my ranch or my daughter?" The nigger said, " Neither, I just want to know who pushed me into the pool."

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    It was the Summer of 1968 and a nigger showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter comes out and says, "Uh, is there something I can do for you? I mean, we don't let niggers in here." "I know," said the nigger, "It's just that, I am from Alabama, and I grew up around White folks, and I like White folks, and I even married a White woman, so I thought maybe I could get in." Peter said, "Wait, you say you married a White woman in Alabama? When the hell was this?" The nigger looks at his watch and says, "Oh, about 10 minutes ago."

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    Two white convicts escape from their prison, only to find that a nigger has followed them out and is running along with them. The three of them see a few tree in the distance and they each climb up one to avoid the bloodhounds that are tracking them. When the police and dogs get to the first tree the dogs go crazy, barking and jumping. The White convict goes, "Meeeow," and the cops just think it is a cat stuck in a tree. So they go to the next tree where the other White convict says, "Hoo Hoo hoo Hoooo." The police figure it is just an owl in the tree. The nigger, hearing how the 2 White guys avoided capture, figures he will do the same, and when the dogs get to his tree, he lets out a loud, "Moooooooooo."

    So anyway, they all three get captured, and now they face the firing squad. The first White guy is standing there and as the warden says, "Ready.....Aim...." the prisoner points behind the cops and yells, "Tornado!" As the firing squad turns to look for the twister, the convict jumps over the wall and escapes. Now they have the second White convict standing there. "Ready.....Aim...." He points over their shoulders and yells, "Flash flood!", and escapes as they turn to look. Now the nigger has his turn. "Ready.Aim....." Just then the nigger jumps up and points and yells, "Fire!"

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    2 priests are arguing over whether God is black or White. Finally the one says he will just go ask God himself. When he comes back he says with a shrug, "I don't know, he just said 'I am what I am'" The other priest says, Well, that proves it! God is white!" "How can you be so sure?" "Well, because, if God was a nigger he would have said, "I is what I is."

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    The F.B.I. sends an agent to South Africa to learn how the police there stop riots. The South African Police General takes him to a township disturbance where the police fire tear gas grenades at the niger mob. The mob runs away a few blocks, regroups, and comes rushing back at the police. Then the cops open up on them with powerful fire hoses, sending the rioters spinning down the street like soccer balls. They regroup and come charging back again, only to be met with squads of German Shepherd attack dogs. They bite those niggers so full of holes that they run like hell and don't come back. "Very impressive," says the F.B.I. agent, "But let me ask you; since the dogs were so effective, why not just use them first?" "Ah, you don't understand," said the Police general, "The niggers down here smell so bad, first we have to fumigate them and rinse them off before our dogs will touch them."

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    A cowboy walks into a bar, and says to the nigger bartender 'Hey nigger, gimme a beer'. The nigger rolled his eyes and said 'Sir, I'll give you a beer, but am offended by the nigger remark and would appreciate it if you didn't do that again'

    The cowboy apologized, drank the beer and said 'Hey boy, bring me another one'

    The nigger's patience was running low and said 'Look buddy, I don't appreciate your racism. How would you like it if you were the bartender and I was a racist asshole calling you names'

    The cowboy thought for a moment and said 'Ok, it's a deal'

    The nigger left as the cowboy went behind the bar and a few moments later, the nigger returned, sat down on the barstool and yelled 'Hey honky, bring me a beer'.

    'I'm sorry, we don't serve niggers here', the cowboy replied
    Working Together For a Nigger Free America

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    Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two groids turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!" "Bet, dog," says the other bootlip, and he goes inside. 10 minutes later, you wouldn't believe it. That nigger was blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!" "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!"


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    Give humans a pile of bricks and they will build you a city. Give niggers a city and they will build you a pile of bricks.

    Appeasement is feeding the beast, hoping it will eat you last.

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    Leticia goes down to the playground and turns 5 tricks @ $20 each.

    On the way home, she stops at da likka sto and picks up a case of Colt fortify for $10.

    A few minutes later, she runs into her cousin Beyonce and gives her $10 so she can buy some waddymellon flavored condoms.

    Just as she get's back to her creeib,, she notices a brutha passed out drunk on the sidewalk. Out of the goodness of her heart,
    she leaves the brutha $2 so he'll have a happy kwaanza.


    How much money does Leticia have left ??




    None. Leroy smacked her and took it all.

  28. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Gummed Tree Climber View Post
    Leticia goes down to the playground and turns 5 tricks @ $20 each.

    On the way home, she stops at da likka sto and picks up a case of Colt fortify for $10.

    A few minutes later, she runs into her cousin Beyonce and gives her $10 so she can buy some waddymellon flavored condoms.

    Just as she get's back to her creeib,, she notices a brutha passed out drunk on the sidewalk. Out of the goodness of her heart,
    she leaves the brutha $2 so he'll have a happy kwaanza.


    How much money does Leticia have left ??




    None. Leroy smacked her and took it all.
    What are the 2 best ways of babysitting a hyper nigglet? 1) Wet their bootlips and stick them to a wall. 2) By a trampoline and put Velcro on the ceiling. How do you get them down? Kidnap a Mexican kid and blindfold him, put a hammer in his hand and tell him it's a piņata!!!!

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    How do you starve a nigger?

    Take his government check and hide it underneath a job application
    Working Together For a Nigger Free America

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    Why do niggers have flat noses and big lips ??

    Because when theyr'e born, the doctor has to step on the back of their head,, so he can pull out the tail.

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