Shit that makes you giggle 30 years on

[CoonsЯus]

I am fully blessed to have been appropriated a sense of humor. This humor always seems to get me through the day. Sometimes I just start laughing for no reason, and the kid's ask me " why you laughing dad?" - I sometimes share with them the source of my amusement.

About 30 years ago I was a young apprentice at an engineering firm. I would spend a few months at a time working at different divisions to try and gain company wide experience. I was attached to an installer group and would go out to job sites with the engineers.

There was one guy there, who's name has eluded me, and he would always be complaining about the overtime always going to the blacks. The dispatcher for the group was a Jamaican but quite domesticated, and he would always claim the niggers are looking after each other.

The engineer used to greet the dispatcher in the mornings at the office as Mr Babbage, and I always thought he was referring to Charles Babbage, the great mechanical computer innovator.

So I asked him once, " do you call Gilbert Mr Babbage after Charles Babbage? " - " Charles Babbage ?? " he retorted in disgust. " No, it's because he looks like a fucking baboon ! "

Jesus, life was never the same after this. Still makes me laugh for no reason when it pops into my head...fucking supermarket aisle anywhere.

Good times.

[Sandy]

That's it, every time I hear Babbage's name, I'm going to associate it with a nigger I never knew.

[Midder Peenud Hayed]

The first year I worked for my former employer I worked with a fellow account rep' who was from The Gambia (W. Africa). He was coal black, but was the least objectionable darkie I've ever known. He actually told me several times that he didn't like American niggers. His name was Babou (pron. BAA-boo).

Our boss was a hardcore Hong Kong chinaman. He had a very pronounced accent. The way he said "Babou", it always came out "baboon". I don't think he was doing it on purpose, that was just the way he pronounced the term. Every time he said the name, Babou would cringe.

I walked on egg shells those days and couldn't even crack a smile. I had just found out that Mrs. PH was knocked up and I really needed that job! But God, it was hard at times not to lose it...

[tweakstick]

^^^
MPH, you'll love this one especially.

I went to AVA school in Millington, TN way back in '88. We had a boot lipper in the class. I was the class leader and regularly had to deal with his monkeyshines trying my best to keep him in check. He was hands down the dumbest student in the class and I wouldn't trust him changing the batteries in my flashlight much less give him a 50 million dollar aircraft loaded with ordnance to work on. This nigger didn't have the sense to poor piss out of a boot with directions on the bottom. His grades proved it and he was failing prior to taking the final exam. During the last couple of weeks of school, this nigger filed an EO complaint with the command due to - you guessed it - SKRIMINASHUN! Dem RAYCISS done been making fun of him 'cause of his niggerdom! When interviewed, he claimed that the rest of the class and all the instructors were making fun of his name linking it to his color and species by calling him BY HIS ACTUAL LAST NAME! Of course the stress of it all was causing him to not be able to focus on his school work so it was obviously whitey's fault that he was failing. He therefore deserved a gibs me dat graduation. No-one admitted it, but the school gave him a 75 as his final grade even though everyone knew he failed his final exam miserably which in itself was an automatic failure. We all knew he had a low 60's average before the final exam as well. Guess he wanted it to match his IQ.

Calling enlisted men by their last name is simply the practice among all uniforms. You call everyone by their last name because it is right there on your damn shirt! It's also next to impossible to remember everyone's name you might have to deal with in a given day. Imagine working on a carrier with a crew of a few thousand. How could this possibly be considered racist and what could his name be that this could even happen, you might ask?


Get ready. I'm not making this shit up...

Airman Recruit Simian.

That's right - his last name was Simian.

[CoonsЯus]

Simian Fucking dumb ape

[tweakstick]

^^^
Not to be confused with LT Buck Simian, one of our esteemed moderators. Gotta say though, his avatar looks suspiciously familiar to me. Just needs one more tooth and it could be him.