The Doorbell Rings on Halloween. I answer it with a basket of full size candy bars and individual bottles of apple cider.

"Wow, you must have put a whole lot of effort in making up THAT Costume of a plane crash survivor, Sweetie! How old are you?" I ask.

"PLEASE HELP ME! My boyfriend Jamal is trying to KILL Me!"

"Now THAT's HILARIOUS, Sweetie, but I'm all out of candy."

The Door Slams and I laugh like a Madman.