https://www.foxnews.com/great-outdoo...d-2-lb-sunfish

Nignog Alphonso Jackson stole the 1983 record for largest redbreast sunfish by five ounces with his catch. Apparently threatening rape was enough to talk the old two pound aquarium fish into commiting suicide rather than being muh-diked by the smelly coon.

Still Nignog Jackson was incensed that the pond did not yield the 5 piece bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken that he ordered, so he slammed the poor fish on the counter of the local KFC and demanded that they fry it up for him. Since the fish had already splattered all over the North Carolina restaurant,
the counter person gave him some of yesterday’s unsold chicken to distract him while waiting for members of the North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission SWAT team to arrive and collect the unruly beast.

As a consolation, they decided to give the record and a news paper article, so that he could pretend he actually did something with his worthless nigger life.