Oil Driller on my doorstep wants to talk about Jesus

[Whitey Ford]

Was wearing a bow tie, a pair of dark shades, carrying a cane and an iPad. He introduced his sproglet as being named Amethyst (huh?)

I told him that as a classical LaVeyan Satanist I didn't follow that particular Faith Path and that I thought that nature brings a balance of its own when unencumbered by man made religious dogma. blah blah blah blah and the jeebus oil driller was getting increasingly uncomfortable as I prattled on about Satanist dogma that I had read somewhere a long, long time ago. I then told him to have a nice day and joyous holidays and that the Church of Satan was open to all, including himself, should he ever choose to change Faith Paths. LOL



Actually, I'm not a satanist. I just think that they're funny. Kind of like the satanist Guilfoyle from Silicon Valley.

[Ignatow]

You should have told it Jesus does not approve of miscegenation between niggers and humans, otherwise known as bestiality. Also, that his sprog is a spawn of hell and would not go to heaven.

[SC Anemia]

Was wearing a bow tie, a pair of dark shades, carrying a cane and an iPad. He introduced his sproglet as being named Amethyst (huh?)

Well Diamond and Sapphire are so last year anyway.
(See your local gentlemen's club)

BTW, just answer the door butt-naked next time. The Jehovah's Witnesses never come around anymore. Neither do the LDS missionaries.

[Ignatow]

I actually got to say a Jehovah's witness say that gays are will be damned because God hates their unnatural behavior. He said, it doesn't matter what he or I thought...the Bible says what they do is an abomination.

[Cracka Jack]

That's funny Whitey... but now I'm a bit conflicted. Ya see, the only reason I retain even a glimmer of faith in The Lord God Almighty.. 'n Shit, is because of niggers. Hear me out. No "Loving God" would ever curse mankind with niggers, so I surmise that niggers are the product of Satan's asshole. Jealous of mankind, pissed off at God and whatnot....

There can't be a Satan without God, hence my slimmest of bitter clinging to God.

I don't know. Far wiser minds than my own have pondered it for millennia, and they're all full of shit.

Who knows.... maybe God is a niggerlover..... That would really suck.

In any case, the bible thumping doorbell ringers can fuck straight off!

[Buck Simian]

Niggers don't go to either heaven or hell. They are simply soulless creatures devoid of any conscious or understanding of good vs. evil. They should not exist. Some idiot fucked a monkey a millennium ago and niggers are the bi-product.

[Ignatow]

Wherever the nigger is, there is hell. So we are in hell as long as they chimpout and behave like niggers.

[Chimpwhipper]

I was visited by the typical Salt and Pepper Jehovah's Witness teams years ago. One of them was a white bitch with my last name. Knowing that the mulatto progeny of a descendant of my family's former nigger slaves had married a white woman I gave her a hard time. For some reason she and her nigger team member left an no more JW's ever came to my house.

[MineEvolved]

'Why would I want to talk to YOU about Jesus? It's not like you're ever going to meet him, those that lay with the beast shall not see the glory of the Lord, or abide with Him in His house'.....then shut the door.

[Whitey Ford]

That's funny Whitey... but now I'm a bit conflicted. Ya see, the only reason I retain even a glimmer of faith in The Lord God Almighty.. 'n Shit, is because of niggers. Hear me out. No "Loving God" would ever curse mankind with niggers, so I surmise that niggers are the product of Satan's asshole. Jealous of mankind, pissed off at God and whatnot....

Well, really if we had just left the niggers in apefrica where they belong they wouldn't be such a curse on mankind. Of course creating niggers in the first place really was bad enough.

There can't be a Satan without God, hence my slimmest of bitter clinging to God.

Tom Waits once sang that there's no such thing as the devil, that's just God when he's drunk.

[Master Sergeant]

I was in the middle of painting my house a few years ago and a smoking hot blonde bible thumper knocked on the door. I answered the door with no shirt on, paint soaked jeans and a cold beer. I think she was as stunned as me so I asked her in for a cold one and that kind of went over like a fart in church so to speak.