The California DMV has an automated call-back system. I'm currently in the cue awaiting a return call.

My drivers license expires this month and as much as I'd rather have my nipples removed with a cheese grater than to go to the DMV...this time I have no choice. I can't do this online.
CA has a new enhanced ID/License called REAL ID. With it, you can board commercial flights and gain entrance to federal buildings. It will be mandatory by 2020 and as I have to renew my license this month anyway, I might as well go for the whole enchilada.

What are the chances i get some fat-ass, lazy, uppity sheboon callback? Stand by...