A bix nood X-Mas

[Golliwog_control]

Hope this hasn't been posted too often.



Leroy's Crimmus Poem



WUS DE NITE BEFO CRIMMUS;
AN' ALL OWER DE HOOD;
EREYBODY WUZ' SWEEPIN
DEY WUZ SWEEPIN' GOOD.

WE HUNGED UP OUR STOCKINGS;
AN HOPED LIKE HECK;
DAT OL' SANNA CLAUSE;
BE BRINGIN' OUR CHECK.

ALL O' DE FAMBILY;
WUZ LAYIN IN DE BEDS;
WHILE RIPPLE AND THUNDERBIRD;
DANCE TRU' DEY HEADS.

I PASSED OUT ONNA' FLO;
RIGHT NEX TO MY MAW;
WHEN I HEARD SECH A FUSS;
I THUNK: "IT MUS BE DE LAW!!!!!"

I LOOKED OUT THRU DE BARS;
WHAT COVERED MY DOE;
'SPECTIN' DE SHERIFF;
WIF A WARRENT FO SHO.

AND WHAT DID I SEE;
I SAID, "LAWD LOOK AT DAT! ! "
THER' WUZ A HUGE WATERMELLON;
PULLED BY GIANT WARF RATS! !

NOW OBER ALL DE YEARS;
SANTA CLAUSE, HE BE WHITE;
BUT LOOKS LIKE US BROS;
GETS A BLACK SANNA DIS NITE.

FASTER DAN A PO'LEES CAR;
MY HOME BOY HE CAME;
HE WHUPPED ON DEM WARF RATS;
AN' CALLED DEM BY NAME!

ON LEROY, ON 'LONZO ;
AND ON WILLIE LEE;
ONSAPHIRE, ON CHENEQUA;
DEY WUZ A SITE TO SEE ! !

AS HE LANDED DAT WATTA ' MELLON;
OUT DER IN DA SKREET;
I KNOWED IT WAS FO' SHO' ;
DA DAMNDEST SITE I EBBER DID SEE.

HE DIDN'T GO DOWN NO CHIMBLEY;
HE PICKED DA ' LOCK ON MY DOE;
AN' I SEZ TO MYSELF;
"SHIT" ! HE DONE DIS BEFOE ! ! ! "

HE HAD DIS BIG BAG;
FULL OF PREZENTS I 'XPECT;
WID AIR JORDANS AND FAKE GOLD;
TO WEAR ROUN' MY NECK.

BUT HE LEFT NO GOOD PREZENTS;
JUS STARTED STEALING MY SHIT;
GOT MY DRUGS, GOT MY GUNS,
EVEN GOT MY BUGLAR'S KIT ! !

WIT MY STUFF IN DE BAG;
OUT DA WINNO HE FLEWED;
I WOUDDA' TRIED TO CATCHED HIM;
BUT HE STOLED MY 'NIFE TOO ! !

HE JUMPED ON DAT WADDA ' MELLON;
AN' WHIPPED OUT A SWITCH;
HE WUZ GONE IN A SECCON' ;
DAT SON OF A BITCH ! !

NEXT YEAR I BE HOPIN' :
ANUTHA SANNA WE GIT;
CUZ' DIZ HERE SANNA CLAUSE;
JUS' AIN'T WERF A SHIT ! ! !

[Rape Ape]

OMG I just about died laughing. Good one!

[soundwave]

I am busting out at the seams after reading this.

[Tar Remover]