A mutt named Brandon...

So recently, my health has been better, feeling good and bored out of my mind, I got back into the workforce. My computer company is long gone, I could have gone back but I just didn't have it in me and they are rocking it out. So I took a contract with a client, to help them out as a Project Manager. I get there and meet my team, mostly Indian developers, a few ladies and then I meet Brandon... I fucking hate Brandon. He looks like your typical mutt, 1/2 nigger 1/2 human hybrid. Very over expressive, loud as hell, argues constantly, yet he is tolerated. Now, for those of you who know these roles, I am the Project Manager, meaning this is my project and I am in charge of it. Brandon is a jr. B.A., which essentially means he is just taking up oxygen and payroll.

First run in with this fuck, was right after I started. I was working on a report at my developers desk, he came up and asked to speak to me in private. We go into my office and he says, very condescending, "NTG, YOU need to realize how important this report is! The higher-up's want it first thing every Friday morning, so if I was in your shoes, I would make this your NUMBER ONE PRIORITY!" all with a smirk on his face. Backstory time, Brandon has been with this company for 9 months. He has been kicked off of 4 teams already, so this is his last chance. I stared at him for a moment, he smirked bigger, then I lost my fucking mind. I can't recall exactly what I said to him, but I know it was something along these lines (and remember, my office door was open at this point) "Hmmm....Ok Brandon, um...Let me ask you something really quick...WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT? I am YOUR boss, you are NOT my boss! I will bounce your dopey ass off my team faster than you can forge a time-sheet! In fact, I don't want to see you for the rest of the day, go the fuck home and let us work in peace.." I know there were a few more cuss words, but you get my point. He went to leave my office (we weren't even sitting when this happened) and stared at me for a second. I stared back at him, he took a step for the door, I never stopped staring him down and took a step. He quickly backed away and let me leave first. About 30 minutes later I get a call from my boss, who asked what happened, I told him and in between laughter he said "good job, find a reason to get rid of him". As luck would have it, I didn't need a reason.

This project is behind already. Our developers are working 10-14 hour days to get the programming down, Brandon is NOT a programmer. We have two different servers now, one server is a "done" server, you do NOT fuck with the "done" server. The other one is a "testing" server, do whatever you want. Well, yesterday, I was doing my rounds and I saw Brandon go pale. He slowly got up, grabbed his keys and left. I figured who cares, he is hopefully leaving for the day. I then realized that it was around 2pm. Now he leaves early every day, but never this early. Interesting. About 10 minutes later, I am sitting in my office, when one of my developers comes barging in. "Mr. NTG, we have a problem! Someone was in the "done" server, messed up a bunch of code! We do not know how bad this is!" I told him to get the team together, we will figure it out. Within 5 minutes, I am in a conference room with about a dozen Indians screaming over one another about the situation. I pull up the service logs and we instantly see Brandon's name all over it. Apparently, he wanted to pretend he knew how to code and logged into the wrong server. After dicking around for a good hour or two he realized his error and instantly ran away. After a good hour, we only lost about two days worth of work (did I mention this software update goes live tomorrow night at 8pm) and the Indians were able to fix it.

This morning, I was given the greenlight to fire Brandon once and for all. I could have auctioned off the honor and made a mint. But, Brandon never came to work today. I waited...and waited...and waited...nothing. I called his work cellphone (don't ask, he had a workphone) and it rang in his desk. I checked his desk and most of his personal stuff was still there along with his laptop and all work related items. I called his personal cellphone and it was disconnected. Very interesting. I knew that one of the jigs in the mailroom was friends with him, so I went up to the mailroom jig and said "Hey, are you friends with Brandon on Facebook?" He said he was, then went to pull his profile, nothing. It's like the mutt just vanished. I went to HR, told them everything, they sent someone up to pack up Brandon's stuff and I guess we will see where it goes from here. We are confident he will attempt to get unemployment, because he is a nigger afterall. But for how tough he would act, how much shit he would talk, you should have seen him run out of the place.

Get ready for the nigger to file a complaint with the EEOC and NAACP for raycism an sheeeeiit, they always do.....

Niggers in IT... been there - done that.

Had one in my class when I studied networking/systems engineering. Nigger flunked out of the Post Office... and they (we taxpayers) paid to get it trained in another field. That nigger was so far over it's head it was pitiful. The school went out of their way to accommodate the nigger, offering it extra tutoring which it did not show up for. After about a week of having the entire class held up while they spoon fed this monkey, I'd had enough. I got the instructor alone when the class was on break and told him:

"I don't appreciate you wasting class time that I'm paying $25/hr for OUT OF MY OWN POCKET to help bring along some spook who has no business being here to begin with."

Class was never delayed for the spook again, but somehow it did complete the course. I am quite certain they fixed it's test scores in order to collect it's tuition from the Post Office.

Nine months later I'm working in a bank. Going out to lunch one day who do I run into but Postal Flunky Nigger. It's got on a shiney new suit, and it's headed into the building. It recognizes me, ooks hello, and tells me that it's a.....

Eunuch's Abminister....

There was also a HUMONGOUS nigger in the class who said that he had been on the practice squad as a linebacker of the Tampa Bay Buckniggers. That one could probably have been trained to remove old PC's and hook up new ones.... Except it was too F'ing huge to fit under a desk.

And then there was Verdell... The magic Law Firm IT nigger.... but I've already hijacked this thread too much...

Very entertaining stories. I'd like to hear about Verdell some time.

One of the nice things about being a project manager is the team members have to buy into their responsibilities and the time constraints as dictated by the project. Using Microsoft project was great in tracking what and what not was getting done and how much it cost. It was also great for getting rid snails and their slime trails!

We could probably start a thread titled "Niggers in IT". I have dozens of horror stories like these to share, starting with the nigger "tech" who took down an entire data center for a week.:fume

Oh Jesus could I tell you stories about niggers in IT. I owned a computer company for many years....