I Am Thankful for One Nigger
I was on my way to work.
I was almost there, basically just around the corner, but I couldn't seem to get there because of completely stopped traffic.
I needed to turn left at the next light, but was stopped in the left lane probably a good quarter mile or more back from where the left turn lane even started.
I had no idea what was causing the back up, but figured I'd get in the right lane, go all the way up to the corner, turn right into the gas station, roll by the pumps, then exit left and maybe with luck, catch a green light proceding on to work, which was only a couple blocks down.
Of course some fucking nigger in a van is 12" from my rear bumper, making it impossible for me to see if the right lane was clear so I could safely enter it.
This cost me a couple minutes as I had to wait for the car ahead of me to inch up at least a car length so I could pull up, shifting to the rightmost portion of the left lane to see the right lane in the mirror instead of the boobahs grill.
The right lane was clear, nobody coming in sight so I pulled out into it and began passing the completely stopped left lane traffic at the posted speed limit.
A few seconds later, I look in the rearview and the spook in the van is on my ass doing the same thing.
I put on my right turn signal as I approached the intersection, glanced at the gas station which seemed to be about empty, turned right into the first driveway, drove past the pumps at about 20 mph, the spook still on my tail.
I clicked on my left signal as I headed out the far driveway, slowing to do a left-right-left before pulling out onto the cross road, which had basically no traffic on it.
I made one more glance right as I was rolling out of the gas station apron onto the road when I spotted something bright white sitting on top the hedge.
It was a motorcycle cops helmet! I looked again and it was more than a helmet. It was the whole cop sitting on his hog along the hedge... and he was putting up the kick stand!
Crap, this is going to be costly I'm thinking. He blended in so well, I never saw him sitting along the hedge. Brother spook had followed me the whole way through the station and was back on my ass as I accelerated the last couple blocks towards work.
I did catch the green light and as I cleared the intersection, here comes the motorcycle cop in the left lane, lights blazing. (It is illegal to bypass a traffic control device by short cutting around it)
I figured he would pull along side of me, motion me over, then drop back and motion over the van, scoring a double play.
He didn't! He pulled along side the spook and furiously motioned him over, falling in behind him as he pulled over.
I kept easing along, checking the mirror but he only wanted the spook. I continued on to the end of the block and turned into the lot at work.
I went inside and announced "You know guys. I'm starting to like black people!" All my co workers looked at me stunned...their jaws dropping in disbelief about what they thought they heard roll off my lips.
I then told what had just happened, everyone having a good laugh. Just then, we were looking out the window and I saw the white van approaching rolling slow. Upon close inspection, you could see Willie Brillo holding a few sheets of paper, trying to read them as he was driving by! He definitely got rung up!
I never determined what caused the traffic jam because I was more focused on the MC cop, but up until my retirement, it never happened again.
