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Odin's balls
04-15-2017, 08:01 AM
The company I work for has started a programme to bring the next generation of construction professionals into the industry.

Like most apprenticeships the position doesn't pay too well in the first instance, but the knowledge and training on offer are second to none. It will be a good start for the right candidate to forge a career in construction management.

The company has an arrangement with the local welfare office to send along candidates from the neighbourhood as they like to employ local 'people' and put something back into the community.

This is all well and good, until we get our first two prospective apprentices into the interview room.

The first candidate is straight off the banana boat and can barely make itself understood in human language. The cheap business suit it has thrown on looks like it came straight out of the charity shop reject bin and the stench of B.O. is enough to make your eyes water. A pair of battered Nike air sneakers complete the look.

The construction director and I have to run through the usual questions like previous employment history (none), where do you see yourself in five years time? (Huh?) Are you available to work weekends when required? (No!!). Before we decide that the piece of talking crap in front of us is more interested in the pretty Polish secretary behind us, than paying attention to what is being asked and making eye contact with the two humans conducting the interview.
We wrap up the interview after about 15 minutes as it is obviously going nowhere. The nigger's parting shot in appallingly broken English is "You pay me good money, I work for you"........ Not going to happen sambo, now get out!

Our second interviewee isn't much better, but at least it tries to speak English, albeit heavily laced with ebonics. This one hasn't even bothered to rob the local charity emporium and has turned up in tracksuit, baseball cap worn at a jaunty angle and sneakers, pausing only to adjust it's muh-dik as it puts on it's best drive-by limp as it saunters nonchalantly through the office and is shown into the interview room.

As soon as it sits down (uninvited) some god awful nigger racket starts emanating from inside it's niggerwear and out comes an iphone with gold knuckleduster protective case. "Yeah, yeah, yeah bruv, whatyouwant? yeah! In a meeting right now. Call me back yeah".

At this point we realise that we have just witnessed our first drug deal under interview conditions. This dumb piece of shit is 33 years old and looking to be an apprentice. This one must be one of the tribal elders. It's phone rings twice more through the course of the interview.

We explain that the first three months are unpaid, but travelling costs and vouchers for the subsidised canteen are covered while the nigger can continue to claim welfare. After this initial probationary period, a small wage is paid for the next nine months and after twelve months a salary of £35-40k, 10% bonus, car allowance, four weeks paid holiday, private healthcare and private pension are up for grabs. Funding for a construction management degree and professional body membership are also on the table after this time.

The nigger looks crestfallen. "Nah, nah, nah blud. Uh need £300 a week to come work 'ere. Startin' now!".

It is clear to us that the coontard didn't quite understand the idea of an apprenticeship and when prompted as to it's understanding of the term 'apprentice' it informed us that "Uh gives you all muh good ideas and you gives muh a cut of the profits, yeah?" No, that is about a million miles away from the reality of the situation and we bid the nigger good day and good luck in finding gainful employment. We then call the welfare office and ask them to stop wasting our time.

The interviews dragged on through the week and there are exactly zero humans that are presented to us for consideration. Two of the more notable nigger interactions involve a young buck nigger that refused to wear a hard hat because 'It would fuck up muh do' and a wannabe yardie gangsta nigger that talked in patois, clearly hated whitey and threatened to 'stab up' the director if he didn't give it the job. The latter was found loitering outside the site entrance carrying a carving knife and was arrested after asking one of our guys what time the director left site.

Niggers are unemployable under any circumstances. They always let the nigger shine through in any interaction with humans.

In the end we took on a Spanish girl who was a friend of one of the other managers.

She will work out fine and have a rewarding and lucrative career ahead of her.

Niggers. I despair!

Cracka Jack
04-15-2017, 09:24 AM
If I were you I'd be deeply concerned about the future of a company that would even consider the possibility of taking on welfare niggers in ANY capacity.

Sheboon DeLuxe
04-15-2017, 10:21 AM
...pausing only to adjust it's muh-dik as it puts on it's best drive-by limp as it saunters nonchalantly through the office and is shown into the interview room.

OB, you're killing me over here! :lmao

Boy
04-15-2017, 12:41 PM
Next time have the security cams running during the interviews and upload the shines for all of us to enjoy.

justin igger
04-15-2017, 04:09 PM
My former boss used to try to recruit niggers from the "colleges" and "welfare job fairs" He handed out job applications to any nigger who walked by.

They were told to fax in their applications once completed to our office. The fax machine was next to my desk. I reviewed every single one and shredded them all.

They were chock full of Ledarious, Leroys, Johntraines and long periods of no work history (prison) . My niggerloving boss was perplexed why these fine young men were not interested in a job. :lol

Bernie Goetz
04-15-2017, 04:49 PM
My former boss used to try to recruit niggers from the "colleges" and "welfare job fairs" He handed out job applications to any nigger who walked by.

They were told to fax in their applications once completed to our office. The fax machine was next to my desk. I reviewed every single one and shredded them all.

They were chock full of Ledarious, Leroys, Johntraines and long periods of no work history (prison) . My niggerloving boss was perplexed why these fine young men were not interested in a job. :lol

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CoonTownYT
04-16-2017, 03:53 AM
Had it been here, they would've gotten the job ten times quicker than I ever would. :facepalm

Cat fur allergic
04-22-2017, 06:55 PM
I would have given them a similar address other side of town. To avoid meeting them :p.

zagnut
04-22-2017, 11:42 PM
I feel your pain. I used to manage a work force installing telecommunication equipment in telephone companies offices. We went through a time of hiring new installers because of the new work load in the area. The HR supervisor sends me a one armed nigger. I got the HR supervisor in my office and said, "what the fuck do you want me to do with him?" "He can't hang channel iron and he is a danger to the other employees if he tries because of his disability." He was put on the payroll over my objections because no one had the balls to tell him he wasn't qualified because they were scared of law suits. 6 months later a fellow manager fired his worthless ass. It was just another day in the life of a corporation where the politically correct destroy the business!

spookavoider
04-23-2017, 01:26 AM
You have far more patience than I could ever muster. The first mention of council niggers being sent over would have had me looking for a new job that afternoon.

Scourmont
05-04-2017, 01:23 PM
My job had 3 niggers, one was fired for sexual harassment, the second was fired for stealing, the 3rd is a lazy piece of shit we're still working on getting rid of.

UpYoursNigger
05-05-2017, 01:25 AM
OB, you're killing me over here! :lmao

I agree Sheboon! That's better than anything Hemingway ever wrote!:lol

Tar Remover
12-11-2017, 12:29 AM
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Well done, good and faithful employee!

Chimpwhipper
12-11-2017, 06:17 AM
Dey beez stealin' yo shit, knowamsayin' Cuz?

NotThatGuy
12-18-2017, 09:00 PM
I posted the story about "Chuck in the Tux" on CO years ago. Nigger showed up, tried to "muh dik" Jodi on his way in and out. Also he showed up in a old tuxedo, misspelled his name on his resume, misspelled resume, had his resume in a large manila envelope from the courthouse addressed to him and ate a #1 from McDonalds during said interview. Complete with licking his fingers, smacking his lips and grunting. When he called a week or so later and I told him he didn't get the job, he farted into the phone and hung up... To this day, it still amazes me.

Chimpwhipper
12-20-2017, 06:43 AM
I walked into our company's break room at the exact same moment my co worker said,"We don't hire niggers." and hung up the phone. That's how you handle them.