Nigger Destroys Restroom at Business Owners Expense

[Coon Club Road]

My brother owns an auto parts store. On a beautiful Saturday summer afternoon, a 400 pound or so sheboon comes knuckling in and up to the counter.

This was an oddity because we don't have too awfully many niggers out our way, they just don't come around often.

She requested to use the baffroom. The ladies room is in the hallway leading out to the warehouse, so he directed her in that direction. She waddled like a penguin towards the ladies room.

A customer came in, a couple of phone calls, another customer. Maybe 15 to 20 minutes had elapsed when my brother realized she was still in the restroom.

He walked to the door and listened... initially no sound, so he tried the knob to see if it was locked, being about 99% certain he didn't see her leave.

It was locked. He was about to knock to ask if she was OK when he heard a flush.

He went back to the counter and started closing down for the day. Eventually the sheboon opened the door and knuckled her way out, not ever so much as acknowledging my brother or thanking him for using the facilities.

He was just relieved she left 5 minutes before 5, as 5 was closing time. The last thing he wanted to do was hang around after hours while Aunt Jemima was in there taking a shit.

At 5 he walked over to the front entrance doors to lock up. When he turned around to walk to the hallway to kill the lights, he saw wet footprints coming from the restroom hallway.

He immediately walked
to the ladies room where a shit stench permeated the hallway. Finding the door locked, he thought WTF? Now he had to locate a key that probably hadn't been used or even seen since he moved in several years earlier.

Thankfully, a short search located the key with the help from an off duty counterman who answered his phone on his day off.

My brother unlocked the door and swung it open. It was as bad as he had visualized. Not only did it stink to high heaven, shit water was all over the floor, the toilet bowl was empty except for what looked like half a roll of brown toilet paper... paper macheted to the bottom! The TP holder was holding a bare cardboard tube, the spare roll and tube completely missing.

The last thing he wanted to do when he should have been out of there was cleaning up after this filthy nigger, but the smell would've wrecked the place if he left the mess until Monday morning.

He gave it a test flush and to no surprise, the water filled the bowl to the top of the rim and it stayed right there. It took 3 or 4 minutes for the water to recede only an inch.

He got the mop and bucket, gloves and a garbage bag and proceeded to unload the bowl once the shitwater level receded. Just plain disgustingly nasty.

Another test flush with the same results prompted a trip to the men's room to get the plunger, returning to the stink filled area to plunge the toilet, which only resulted in more water on the floor. I could visualize him plunging away saying "fucking nigger, fucking nigger, fucking nigger" with every stroke.

(When he told me this story, I could not contain myself from exploding in violent laughter)

He tried for 15 mins to plunge it with no success, only making the mess bigger and the stench worse.

He spent the next 30 mins calling plumbers and talking to their answering services, eventually one called him back about 10 minutes later. It was already well past 6pm.

The plumber said he could be there in 20 mins, and if it was a quick fix, he'd even waive the after hours surcharge.

20 minutes almost to the mark, a car rolls up to the front door, the trunk pops open and out hops a guy who retrieves a "closet auger" from the trunk.

A closet auger is a specialized tool, basically a snake to make short, clean work of cleaning out the trap built into the base of the toilet, normally the root of the problem of a terminally clogged shitter.

The plumber came in, introduced himself and 10 minutes later, announced that the blockage must be in the drain line and not in the toilet. More smell and more shit water on the floor too.

He said he could be back in an hour with his truck and a snake, but from this point he would be on the clock.

My brother had no choice because not a single additional plumber had responded to the messages he left.

A little before 7, the plumber left for his shop, my brother ran home to shower and grab a bite. He was back at the store in an hour, the plumber pulling up in his van a few minutes after that.

Long story short, after removing the toilet from the floor, then 45 minutes and several sections of cable later, the plumber retrieved a womans pair of underwear, about the size of a feed sack from the building drain... he estimated they nearly made it all the way to the sewer main at the street by the amount of cable he used, the cable sections now stacked in the hallway, shit water oozing from them onto a walk off mat.

There was shit spray everywhere. The walls, the floor, the stall, most from the spinning drain cleaning machine. It now smelled the worse it had all day!

At 9pm, after re-setting the shitter on the floor, my brother paid the plumber $300 and he left leaving my brother another hour plus of work to clean up the shit mess which included a trip to the store for additional cleaning supplies.

All in all, about $325 in expenses and 5 non revenue hours of extra work spent at the store.

All because he let a nasty coon in to use the baffroom.

The ladies room now has an "Electrical Closet" sign on the door and remains locked. A "No Public Restroom" sign is clearly visible at the front door because a "No niggers" sign be rayciss.

[Ignatow]

It's not a restaurant, so there's no legal obligation to provide toilet facilities. Also, restrooms are for paying customers only, or at his discretion (meaning no niggers, humans, maybe). And in this day of coonrona, even restaurants say no restrooms available. I am really sorry this happened to your brother. He probably got distracted. Fucking sow, of course has no regard for anyone but itself. No thanks, well that's what niggers do, such ungrateful bastards. I'm sure from now on, if a nigger aksed for the restroom, the polite answer would be "it's broken". The appropriate, but costly, answer is, "get the fuck out nigger".

[tweakstick]

UNDERWEAR?

Seriously... Underwear. You fat nasty sow. Most niggers don't bother to wear them and this nasty waddling biohazard decides to ditch them in a store of all places. In the toilette. Class act nigger, way to go. Niggers ruin everything and this one just ruined it for everyone else who doesn't behave like that.

[haywood]

UNDERWEAR?

Seriously... Underwear. You fat nasty sow. Most niggers don't bother to wear them and this nasty waddling biohazard decides to ditch them in a store of all places. In the toilette. Class act nigger, way to go. Niggers ruin everything and this one just ruined it for everyone else who doesn't behave like that.

TNB to the 10TH degree!! FUCKING DISGUSTING sow!!!!

[zagnut]

The whole time she was in there I can imagine her reciting "I'll be fucking whitey, but good!" The more I envision that the madder I get.

Many moons ago I worked for the phone company and back when they had human operators they had a title of central office repairman. He was responsible for keeping the operator positions operating and that included fixing the chairs the heifers sat on. Most of the time a couple squirts of lps would be all you would need to get them spinning again. I had to sub for the repairman who was on vacation. The boss come by one day and noticed a bunch of chairs in the corner and asked what gives. I replied they were there when I got here so I figured there was some special reason. Upon closer inspection the seats all had skid marks on them and some looked like they were bathed in shit. Then he told me to handle it. I called him back in his office and gave him a list of cleaning supplies to be brought to me that included rubber gloves, face masks, paper jump suits, brushes and upholstery cleaner. He brought the stuff the next morning and I began. Turning them over I noticed they were numbered for the operator's positions so they could be returned to their rightful owner. After cleaning them I got into the house service closet and got a case of bon ami cleanser. This is basically ground glass with some blue shit to give it some color. I gave each and every chair a healthy dose of cleanser to where if you smacked the seat with your hand it would smoke like a bomb went off. Back into the jungle they went. After about 2 days I started noticing the nigger sows scratching their ass complaining they be all broken out down there. For the rest of the time I subbed for Fred I'd dose the fuck out of the chairs with skid marks. Pretty soon the problem disappeared because the niggers started wearing sci-vies.

[Coon Club Road]

... if you smacked the seat with your hand it would smoke like a bomb went off...

That is some funny shit zag!

[Coon Club Road]

...the polite answer would be "it's broken"..

My first gas station job in high school was from whenever I got there after school til 10pm.

Day shift was walking out having ended their shift after diligently cleaning the restrooms.

I learned quickly to immediately lock and hang the "Out of Order" sign on the ladies restroom door as soon as the owner left.

If anyone complained, I'd tell them they were welcome to use the men's room. They'd say eww and leave.

At 10, a quick mop down of the men's head then pulling down the sign from the ladies room and I was on my way home.

This was back when oil companies prided themselves with crystal clean restrooms. They were to be inspected and the card on the inside of the door initialed on the hour.

This was an old school joint, 3 service bays, a parts room, the office and 2 restrooms around the side of the building.

[tweakstick]

I spent my late teen years working in a grocery store before enlisting. I can tell you all that the women's head was the most disgusting place you can possible imagine compared to the men's. The men's room only had the eternal piss stain under the urinal and the occasional overflow or clogs. Nothing can compare to the women's after the first or fifteenth when the fooh stayupms come out. The teenigg sows were the worst. Until my dying days, I'll never forget finding graphitti written in blood on the wall only to turn around and find the... uhhmm... paintbrush hanging from the door latch. Girls go to the restroom in teams for reasons that it took me years to somewhat understand. Teenigger sows go into restrooms in herds and do things which no human can possibly EVER understand.

Thanks bitches. I had to clean that shit up.

[Coon Club Road]

...Thanks bitches. I had to clean that shit up.

Yes exactly!

A school buddy I worked with actually came up with the idea for Friday nights when we wanted to go at 2200 and the womans shithouse was wrecked, and as you stated, all that was required next door was a slight swing of the mop under the pisser, nothing ever in the waste can either.

This worked so well on Friday night, it got extended to a daily M-F routine!

[Sheboon DeLuxe]

Girls go to the restroom in teams for reasons that it took me years to somewhat understand. Teenigger sows go into restrooms in herds and do things which no human can possibly EVER understand.

Thank the Good Lawd for that!! Please, whatever you do, do NOT explain!! :bert

(I think this thread deserves a sticky...)

[tweakstick]

Thank the Good Lawd for that!! Please, whatever you do, do NOT explain!! :bert
The human females go in pairs for company and practicality. They tend to like to bullshit while one is at the mirror and the other in the stall. For practicality, if the roll runs out or some other needed item is discovered and you are by yourself, you're screwed and just gonna have to drip dry or worse.

Maybe a bit of an oversimplification according to Mrs. Tweak but that's the gist of it. That wasn't so bad now was it?

As far as the sows go, it's like I said. No-one understands so I can't explain. It's not like they use toilette paper or any other hygiene products for that matter so what's the point...

[animal mother]

Lacking and direct knowledge of the interior of public ladies rooms, I have to rely on the experience of Mrs AM. Apparently the human female views the toilet seat in public restrooms as something to avoid sitting on at all cost as if we’re made of molten lava. They will squat rather than sit and the resulting flow of urine will be sprayed over the seat and of course the floor. This seems to be especially true with older women.

My experience was almost as vile while serving in Vietnam. Since any modern sanitation did not exist in most villages, it was not unusual to see some old mama san drop trough and pinch a loaf over a benjo ditch.

[tweakstick]

Lacking and direct knowledge of the interior of public ladies rooms, I have to rely on the experience of Mrs AM. Apparently the human female views the toilet seat in public restrooms as something to avoid sitting on at all cost as if we’re made of molten lava. They will squat rather than sit and the resulting flow of urine will be sprayed over the seat and of course the floor. This seems to be especially true with older women.

My experience was almost as vile while serving in Vietnam. Since any modern sanitation did not exist in most villages, it was not unusual to see some old mama san drop trough and pinch a loaf over a benjo ditch.

Yeppers, the double-aught buck spray pattern on (mostly) the seat is ALWAYS there. Proper ladies are taught at a young age to NEVER under any circumstances sit and it takes a degree of talent and control to both hover and aim at the same time. Sorry, fat chicks. You just don't have the skills, the will or the build to do both. Sows also simply have no desire to do so from what I've been told by Mrs. T. They don't see it as a necessary thing or understand why humans would. Go figure.

Whenever there was piss on the seat in the men's room at the store, it was usually from a little kid who's been sent in by himself and can't reach the urinal. I know it's not practical, but I think every public restroom should have buried basin urinals - the 4 foot tall kind that sink into the floor. If I ever get to build my dream man cave/garage, that's exactly what I'm gonna do! That's what we had in the store and cleaning the men's room amounted to sweeping the floor, squirting bleach everywhere then dragging a scalding hot water hose from the butcher shop in there to hose it all right down the urinal drain. You were done in 30 minutes max. The ladies room took three hours minimum.

You know, it just occurred to me that we've been oozing toilette humor out of our potty mouths for two days now. What do you think Sigmund Freud would have to say about us?:lmao

[Coon Club Road]

...I think every public restroom should have buried basin urinals - the 4 foot tall kind that sink into the floor...

When we were in shop class in high school, the shop locker/restroom area had one of those in the corner. Also had one of those 6' round sinks with the foot valve.

Anyway, after every shop class, our ex Jar Head instructor would get big wood by ordering us to "Clean up Shop". And he meant Marine clean... which included brooming the floor with sweeping compound including the locker area.

You can guess where the sweeping compound went from the locker room, straight down the built in dust pan with enough flushes to make it disappear down the chrome strainer.

The school janitor was in about once a week with an acid pour trying to get the urinal unclogged. He could never figure why it kept backing up!

Probably why they don't use 'em anymore!

[tweakstick]

^^Yeah, the P-trap becomes non-serviceable once they are installed so anything you dump that gets stuck and can't be loosened up with a snake has to get removed with a sledge hammer.



O.K. One last sea story. Remember, like all sea stories, this is a no shitter. It is, however, a real pisser full of shit:

I had the JOOD watch at the base Quarterdeck one day. For you civilians not in the know, this is basically a sit on your ass and answer the phone all day job at the base Skipper's office. Nothing much happens as long as a plane doesn't crash or something else major happens. The building was built in the 50's with a style of urinals that had an unusually large bowl that stayed full of water like a regular toilette until you flushed it. It somewhat resembled a regular toilette but stuck out from the wall instead of the floor just under the average man's crotch level and had no seat. Several would be mounted on the wall side by side just like urinals. Privacy partitions were not a thing back then but neither were meat gazers so they weren't even thought of.

The building housed several offices one of which was the base legal services office. From time to time, and old retired geezer would come in needing a will written or POA signed etc.

One quiet day, an older than dirt retired fellow came in and asked where the legal office and the head were. I sent him down the hall toward both. He gruffly thanked me and walked on. Some 15 minutes later, I'm sitting there bullshitting with my driver when we start hearing screaming and beating on walls. The only things we could make out were a string of expletives separated by phrases like "I spent 30 GD years in the fucking Army and this is how you treat me you mother fuckers?" Somebody better bring me a GD roll of *&%@ toilette paper before *&^$! and this place %$!@ MOTHER FUCKERS!!!"

I quickly dispatched my driver down the hall to find out what the commotion was before the Skipper came out to deal with it himself. It was right across the hall from his office and he was in the middle of a meeting with the Admiral. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. By the time he got there, some half a dozen guys had bolted into the head thinking someone was hurt or something else serious.

My driver, Airman Wutduhfuck, stood there not knowing what to do just like the rest of them. You've got to understand this isn't something we train for, you know. Lucky for all of them, his wife heard the commotion and came running as fast as her legs and her walker would allow. We turned the situation over to her and made sure no-one else entered the head while she took care of him. Lucky me, I was about to get off watch and didn't have to deal with any of the cleanup aftermath.

Getting old might not be so bad without the indignities of getting old. If you shit all over yourself as a baby, no-one bats an eye. Let a full grown man do it and everyone talks and laughs about it for what... I guess it's been about 25 years now?

Poor old crusty bastard never did get to talk to anyone at the legal office.

[Frank]

Yeppers, the double-aught buck spray pattern on (mostly) the seat is ALWAYS there. Proper ladies are taught at a young age to NEVER under any circumstances sit and it takes a degree of talent and control to both hover and aim at the same time. Sorry, fat chicks. You just don't have the skills, the will or the build to do both. Sows also simply have no desire to do so from what I've been told by Mrs. T. They don't see it as a necessary thing or understand why humans would. Go figure.

Whenever there was piss on the seat in the men's room at the store, it was usually from a little kid who's been sent in by himself and can't reach the urinal. I know it's not practical, but I think every public restroom should have buried basin urinals - the 4 foot tall kind that sink into the floor. If I ever get to build my dream man cave/garage, that's exactly what I'm gonna do! That's what we had in the store and cleaning the men's room amounted to sweeping the floor, squirting bleach everywhere then dragging a scalding hot water hose from the butcher shop in there to hose it all right down the urinal drain. You were done in 30 minutes max. The ladies room took three hours minimum.

You know, it just occurred to me that we've been oozing toilette humor out of our potty mouths for two days now. What do you think Sigmund Freud would have to say about us?:lmao

What if you need to take a shit? You still gotta have a place for turd disposal.

[tweakstick]

What if you need to take a shit? You still gotta have a place for turd disposal.

I can only answer for myself on this one, Frank.

Years ago, Mrs. Tweak let me know in no uncertain terms that the words "I must have got it from a toilette seat" would not be an acceptable excuse. Of course, I've never needed an excuse because I've always kept my pants up until I got home. The same goes for taking a shit. I refuse to go to a toilette that wasn't home, family, or other trusted household unless I cleaned it myself. To that end, I go to what some would consider extraordinary lengths to ensure my schedules do not conflict with each other and to be well prepared for events beyond my control. Should I find myself in the situation due to some unforeseen health circumstance or ill timed jalapeno ingestion, I actually keep handy at my disposal a selection of germicidal/anti viral surface treatments to perform on the spot sanitations. I do this because I am a male human and therefore do not carry the hover gene. While I strive to, I do not trust my balance and must rely on a clean landing area. As a double layer of protection, I always make sure to line the seat with paper prior to any hovering and relief attempts. I do all of this as a precaution against the vile illnesses carried by the least hygienic among us.

If I find myself outside in the wilderness for whatever reason under the same circumstances, then I will, just as methodically as above, perform the following actions:

Dig a hole.
Squat and shit.
Wipe my ass with some leaves. (Watch out for poison ivy I'm not making THAT mistake again)
Kick some dirt over my turds.
Keep walking.

Yes, it's a lot simpler but I'm pretty sure no nigger has ever taken a shit in my hole before so it's cool.

[Coon Club Road]

..."meat gazers"...

You come up with the funniest shit Tweek!

And about those pissers you described above... the wall mounted units that resemble a bowl... I remember them well in my elementary school building circa 1930.

If I remember correctly, they had the same ones in the ladies head... in the stalls, I think they squatted over them since we all know women have that natural instinct to make no contact with a seat.

And furthermore, I 100% agree with you that there is no place like shitting at home!

I'll drive 100 miles with a stomach ache to get home before I'd shit at a gas station!

[Frank]

I'll drive 100 miles with a stomach ache to get home before I'd shit at a gas station!

:lol :lol :lol

I feel the same way but sometimes there is no option to drive all the way home.

When those cramps hit you in the lower gut and it starts to rumble like a thunderstorm off in this distance. You feel your asshole go to defcon 1 and you know it won't be able to hold off the inevitable for long. The sweat begins to run down your face and you start praying. That very first run down road side rest stop or questionable looking gas station will look like a beautiful oasis in the middle of the desert. I'm gonna do it and I don't care what the shitter looks like, it's either that or shit your pants and ruin the inside of your vehicle forever.

[animal mother]

Dig a hole.
Squat and shit.
Wipe my ass with some leaves. (Watch out for poison ivy I'm not making THAT mistake again)
Kick some dirt over my turds.
Keep walking.

Ok so you have met my cat?

[Coon Club Road]

...When those cramps hit you in the lower gut and it starts to rumble like a thunderstorm off in this distance...

...The sweat begins to run down your face...

Been there done that!

That's usually when I look for some guard rail, pull over and wipe with a sock!

[Kip Mabuse]

When I worked at a gas station/convenience store in the south, we had an old democrat who'd come in once in a blue moon driving an old van that hadn't quite had the "u-haul" painted over on the sides. He'd always do the same thing--come up to the counter, politely ask for change for the postage stamp machine back by the restroom, go over to the machine, pretend to buy some stamps, and then go into the restroom. After about five minutes or so, he'd start screaming. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! AH, LAWS-AMIGHTY-MY-HEMS!" He'd do that for ten or fifteen minutes, then he'd come out, thank me again for the change, and say, "Son, I hope you never gets the hems. Lord, don't ever get the hems." It was actually a bit of a puzzle as to what he was doing, until one of the black clerks told us that he came in to buy condoms from the rubber machine in the bathroom, and was embarrassed and afraid that someone would hear the machine while he was in there, so he made a lot of noise. Apparently, it's not a common--but also not an unheard of--practice.

[Coon Club Road]

Along the lines of bathroom behavior, what is up with the shines that go into shit at work and burn toilet paper while they are crapping, leaving the head smelling like a trash can fire upon their exit?

It was only the coons that did it. Happened at a couple different places I worked too.

[Kip Mabuse]

Along the lines of bathroom behavior, what is up with the shines that go into shit at work and burn toilet paper while they are crapping, leaving the head smelling like a trash can fire upon their exit?

It was only the coons that did it. Happened at a couple different places I worked too.

Trying to cover up the smell of dope? I've seen them do stupider things. The ones where I lived in the south that had outstanding warrants (about 90% of them) would cruise around without any I.D. figuring that if the cops picked them up for anything, they'd have to be let go since, logically, if you have no I.D. on you, you have No Identity and are therefore invisible to The Man.

[Ray Cizzums]

Ok so you have met my cat?

I keep an E-tool and a roll of TP, behind the seats in my pickup. As a former 11B, I prefer a field expedient shit, which I always bury.
This keeps the false Bigfoot reports to a minimum. I don't want anyone to think Big Mike Obama is nearby.

[jenkemfactory]

12392

[Frank]

12398

[I aint bin dun did dat!]

Saw this post pop back up so I will share a similar story. I worked at a grocery store while in high school and one day the manager asks me to do “a special job”. Thinking I’m getting some kind of brownie points towards a raise, (yea right) I agree while not knowing any specifics about the “special job”. He leads me to the ladies restroom which consisted of 2 stalls. Points to the back stall and to my absolute horror, shit had been sprayed all over the stall. There was shit on the walls, floor and even the ceiling.

I don’t know if a nigger did it but I would say the odds are good. It was impressive how the shit covered nearly every square inch of the stall. Anyways, I told my manager I would quit before cleaning that up and to find someone else. He said, “yea, I get it” and I was the hell outta there.

[Coon Club Road]

One night on the Indiana Toll Road at one of the service plazas, I had just filled my coffee cup and had turned to head for the door when one of my buddies intercepted me and said "come here, you gotta see this".

We walked to the men's room, he pointed to a stall and said "look in there".

I have never seen a toilet so fucked up in my life.

Apparently someone had dropped trou, backed in, climbed up on the seat and opened fire.

There was shit chest high on the back wall, skid mark spray on 3 sides including a topping on the TP dispenser and roll.

The chrome vacuum break/shifter assembly had a pyramid of shit topping it too.

The massive amount of shit indicated either this fucker hadn't shat in 2 weeks or it was a team effort of multiple offenders... I don't think it was the latter, as who would want to go in a stall someone had already spray painted?

This was far enough back before cell cameras or we would have snapped a pic for Ripley.

Two nights later, we checked to see if anyone had the balls to clean it or had simply slapped the "out of order" sign on it, dosing it with Odor-B-Gone, but amazingly it was spotlessly clean... the chrome shining like a niggers heel!

Not sure if the Hardee's workers or Toll Road maintenance took care of it, but if I was in either capacity, it would have been my last day on the job too.

[SC Anemia]

We had an AA union nigger at a job site for a while who was perpetually late and always spent the first 30 minutes of every day in the porta-potty.

We cured that shit (literally) by dropping bricks down the vent pipe of the porta-potty. Works like a charm especially if the *water* level is sufficiently high. We did that every time he went in there until he eventually decided to take his morning dump elsewhere. Eventually that one quit anyway.

[Ray Cizzums]

I'm always prepared to take to the woods, with an E-tool and a roll of TP, for an infantry-style shit.
I got used to it, after living in the field.
That nasty sheboon was waddling because she'd already shit herself. That's bad enough, but then that foul animal
had to jettison her loaded shorts down the toilet ? When you see a big buffarilla headed for the "baffroom", there's
a good possibility of a broken toilet seat, or cracked bowl. They can't reach their asshole, so you know shit will be
everywhere. After the Starbucks nigger fiasco, managers were not allowed to throw them out, and they wrecked
the rest rooms every day. Finally, in NYC, they just locked them and hung up out of order signs.
:bugeye

[Anastasia]

Most women who do the squat/hover thing over the toilet seat have an irrational fear of seat cooties. I guess being a nurse and having knowledge about what's really contaminated in a public bathroom makes me different. The seat isn't that bad compared to other surfaces in that room. The flush handle, the stall door and the lock...those are much dirtier than the seat because people are always touching those things with shit-covered hands. I never touch them directly, I always use a piece of toilet paper. And of course the dirtiest thing in the bathroom is the floor.

[Coon Club Road]

Most women who do the squat/hover thing over the toilet seat have an irrational fear of seat cooties. I guess being a nurse and having knowledge about what's really contaminated in a public bathroom makes me different. The seat isn't that bad compared to other surfaces in that room. The flush handle, the stall door and the lock...those are much dirtier than the seat because people are always touching those things with shit-covered hands. I never touch them directly, I always use a piece of toilet paper. And of course the dirtiest thing in the bathroom is the floor.


Agreed... was recently at a local medical center and wondered why the waste can was near the sink and not in the corner by the door... where I pitched my paper towel after pulling open the door.

Sorry hospital housekeeping Sambo, but there ain't no way I was grabbing that door handle with my bare hand!

[tweakstick]

Most women who do the squat/hover thing over the toilet seat have an irrational fear of seat cooties.

It's not irrational. It's sensible.

I cannot stand to use a public toilette. I avoid them at all cost. Even when using urinals, I'm extremely careful: Use a paper towel to hit the handle a few times before pissing to clear the bowl, stand back and use careful aim for the water instead of the porcelain to avoid back-splash and avoid the piss spot underfoot.

No joke here, I carry a can of Lysol on road trips just in case I can't avoid it. I'm talking wipes, my own TP, the works. I inspect the place with enough time to make sure in case I need to break the speed limit to make it to the next available spot. I would rather run into the woods with my own E-tool and supplies so I can dig my own privy than to use a niggerfied rest stop.

Not that she had to, but Mrs. Tweak told me before we got married that she would never accept the excuse "I must have got it from a toilette seat!" (I used to listen to a lot of Frank Zappa:lol)

So am I too careful?

Kick door open with foot.
Look for niggers.
Walk in.
Do my business using zero skin contact with anything not attached to me.
Go to sink, grab fist paper towel and discard after using it to turn on water.
Wash hands using my own soap if none provided in dispenser or is in bar form.
Grab now verified fresh paper towels and dry hands.
Use paper towels to turn off water and open door.
Discard paper towels after door is open - outside if necessary.

- And all of that is just to piss.

I swear, I'm not a germaphobe - I just notice how disgusting most people are and I don't have any interest in catching their diseases.

[Coon Club Road]

It's not irrational. It's sensible.

I cannot stand to use a public toilette. I avoid them at all cost. Even when using urinals, I'm extremely careful: Use a paper towel to hit the handle a few times before pissing to clear the bowl, stand back and use careful aim for the water instead of the porcelain to avoid back-splash and avoid the piss spot underfoot.

No joke here, I carry a can of Lysol on road trips just in case I can't avoid it. I'm talking wipes, my own TP, the works. I inspect the place with enough time to make sure in case I need to break the speed limit to make it to the next available spot. I would rather run into the woods with my own E-tool and supplies so I can dig my own privy than to use a niggerfied rest stop.

Not that she had to, but Mrs. Tweak told me before we got married that she would never accept the excuse "I must have got it from a toilette seat!" (I used to listen to a lot of Frank Zappa:lol)

So am I too careful?

Kick door open with foot.
Look for niggers.
Walk in.
Do my business using zero skin contact with anything not attached to me.
Go to sink, grab fist paper towel and discard after using it to turn on water.
Wash hands using my own soap if none provided in dispenser or is in bar form.
Grab now verified fresh paper towels and dry hands.
Use paper towels to turn off water and open door.
Discard paper towels after door is open - outside if necessary.

- And all of that is just to piss.

I swear, I'm not a germaphobe - I just notice how disgusting most people are and I don't have any interest in catching their diseases.


You have no idea how many people I've spotted in the mirror while washing my hands bust open the stall door and make a break for the exit without any thought of washing their hands.

You know damn well they're transferring a skid mark from their ass to the stall door, then onto to the restroom door.

Grabbing the exit door handle with a handful of towels is an absolute must! I have noticed a lot of restrooms have a can by the door... others a pile of paper towels by the door... which I add to!

[tweakstick]

You have no idea how many people I've spotted in the mirror while washing my hands bust open the stall door and make a break for the exit without any thought of washing their hands.

Back when I was in the Navy, the last thing a guy wanted to do was let me catch him doing that. I would follow the guy out, and follow him back to his work-center. As soon as he walked in the door, I would stick my head in right after I saw people inside and yell "Nobody shake this guy's hand... He just took a shit and didn't wash 'em!" Pretty soon after I started doing this, other guys started following suit. It took off. No-one was spared, not even Chiefs and Officers. They started calling us the "handwash gestapo" and referring to me as AT1 Müller!:lol

Damn, I miss the Navy.

Of course, it still caries on. Several times, I've noticed a restaurant worker doing the same thing and every time, I'll watch them walk into the kitchen and bust them at the front counter in front of the manager. So far, it's only happened with niggers and none of them ever seem to be wearing hurrah netsizz on dey hayeds, either.

Of course I immediately walk out after the fireworks start and don't return.

[Coon Club Road]

...Of course, it still caries on. Several times, I've noticed a restaurant worker doing the same thing...


Reminds me of something I heard years ago... I hope you've never eaten at the following restaurant! :lol

A guy walks into a fancy restaurant and is promptly seated.

The very first thing he does while sitting down is accidentally knock his spoon to the floor with his elbow.

To his amazement, a waiter walking by picked up the dirty spoon a split second after it hit the deck, replacing it with a clean spoon from his shirt pocket.

"Wow, you guys are efficient!
Do all of you carry spoons in your shirt pockets" ? the customer asked.

"Sure" the waiter replies. "We had an efficiency expert in here last week telling us we could increase our productivity by 5% by carrying spoons in our pockets. 5% equates to 5% more tip money at the end of the night".

"Wow that's impressive." the customer says. "By the way, I'm not sure what that is, but it appears you have a piece of string stuck to your pants above your fly".

"All of us guys do!" the waiter cheerfully explained with a smile. "The efficiency expert told us we were wasting time washing our hands after using the rest room, so he had us tie a piece of string around our joints. When I need to go, I just unzip and pull the string. Since I never actually touch myself, the need for handwashing is eliminated, thus improving our efficiency".

"Very interesting" exclaimed the customer, and after a brief pause asked the waiter, "so let me ask you this, how do you shake and get your meat back in your pants without touching it?"

"Well. I don't know about the other guys, I just use the spoon"!

[tweakstick]

^^
:rofl:rofl:rofl

Well, dammit Cooney...
And here I thought I'd heard them all!

[Jim Crow]

Niggers cannot be domesticated.They are destructive low IQ beasts!Niggers ruin and destroy everything. My dad owned a liquor store plus a few mom and pop stores in Connecticut. He would not allow anyone to use his bathroom. He told him it was out of order.

[animal mother]

Reminds me of something I heard years ago... I hope you've never eaten at the following restaurant! :lol

A guy walks into a fancy restaurant and is promptly seated.

The very first thing he does while sitting down is accidentally knock his spoon to the floor with his elbow.

To his amazement, a waiter walking by picked up the dirty spoon a split second after it hit the deck, replacing it with a clean spoon from his shirt pocket.

"Wow, you guys are efficient!
Do all of you carry spoons in your shirt pockets" ? the customer asked.

"Sure" the waiter replies. "We had an efficiency expert in here last week telling us we could increase our productivity by 5% by carrying spoons in our pockets. 5% equates to 5% more tip money at the end of the night".

"Wow that's impressive." the customer says. "By the way, I'm not sure what that is, but it appears you have a piece of string stuck to your pants above your fly".

"All of us guys do!" the waiter cheerfully explained with a smile. "The efficiency expert told us we were wasting time washing our hands after using the rest room, so he had us tie a piece of string around our joints. When I need to go, I just unzip and pull the string. Since I never actually touch myself, the need for handwashing is eliminated, thus improving our efficiency".

"Very interesting" exclaimed the customer, and after a brief pause asked the waiter, "so let me ask you this, how do you shake and get your meat back in your pants without touching it?"

"Well. I don't know about the other guys, I just use the spoon"!


https://youtu.be/DyY7Z9qKCek

[I aint bin dun did dat!]

Agreed... was recently at a local medical center and wondered why the waste can was near the sink and not in the corner by the door... where I pitched my paper towel after pulling open the door.

Sorry hospital housekeeping Sambo, but there ain't no way I was grabbing that door handle with my bare hand!

If there is no trash can near the door, I will discard my paper towel used to open the door onto the floor.

[Coon Club Road]

https://youtu.be/DyY7Z9qKCek


Poppy knows the string trick! You could see him adjusting it on the way out! :lol

[Sandy]

The Poppy episodes are classics. It makes you wonder how filthy a lot of restaurant employees are.

I hope none of you ever have to use an NYC public library toilet. I was in college when I walked into one for the first time. It wasn't the main library on 42nd, but another higher up in midtown, and obviously frequented by niggers. Sprayed feces all over the stall, the commode never flushed in days, and the stench of urine? The next one was even worse. Completely backed up like a dozen dozen nigger bums had used it and tried flushing down drug needles and empty baggies.

I really had to go, but it was like Paulie Walnuts unable to use the piscadu in Italy. It was below human standards, and even now it makes me ill thinking about it! So we went out for coffee, and I used the facilities at the Starbucks or wherever we found.

[Coon Club Road]

The Poppy episodes are classics. It makes you wonder how filthy a lot of restaurant employees are.

I hope none of you ever have to use an NYC public library toilet. I was in college when I walked into one for the first time. It wasn't the main library on 42nd, but another higher up in midtown, and obviously frequented by niggers. Sprayed feces all over the stall, the commode never flushed in days, and the stench of urine? The next one was even worse. Completely backed up like a dozen dozen nigger bums had used it and tried flushing down drug needles and empty baggies.

I really had to go, but it was like Paulie Walnuts unable to use the piscadu in Italy. It was below human standards, and even now it makes me ill thinking about it! So we went out for coffee, and I used the facilities at the Starbucks or wherever we found.


Niggers have a hard time operating "sheenry". Flushing a toilet is obviously over most niggers ability.

The library would have been better off removing the porcelain and dumping 4 or 5 inches of cat litter in the stall!

[chutzpah]

This article from an online magazine named MadameNoire, which informs us about Black guys’ problem with hygiene:

https://madamenoire.com/595832/is-this-petty-my-husband-leaves-skid-marks-in-his-underwear-and-on-our-sheets/ (https://madamenoire.com/595832/is-this-petty-my-husband-leaves-skid-marks-in-his-underwear-and-on-our-sheets/)

[Ray Cizzums]

This article from an online magazine named MadameNoire, which informs us about Black guys’ problem with hygiene:

https://madamenoire.com/595832/is-this-petty-my-husband-leaves-skid-marks-in-his-underwear-and-on-our-sheets/ (https://madamenoire.com/595832/is-this-petty-my-husband-leaves-skid-marks-in-his-underwear-and-on-our-sheets/)

Not wiping your ass is common in the black coon-munity, as evidenced by the comments in this article. Most blacks,
especially sheboons, are so obese they can't even reach their ass to wipe it. Sloppy, shit contaminated asshole is a
turn-on for bucks, and they will muh dikk it - male, female, or tranny - without hesitation. Niggers are the shit-flies
of the animal kingdom, that is for certain.
:bugeye

[Chimp Detester]

Most honorable Coon Club Road: As to your initial post on this thread, couldn't your brother check the security videos and identify the filthy buffarilla sheboon sherilla mega-turd sow crap-beast and file charges against it for damages?

[Ray Cizzums]

Most honorable Coon Club Road: As to your initial post on this thread, couldn't your brother check the security videos and identify the filthy buffarilla sheboon sherilla mega-turd sow crap-beast and file charges against it for damages?
The value of the estate of a US sheboon averages out at $500. The average white woman's estate : $36,500.
There is no point in attempting to sue a sheboon, ratchet or buffarilla, as there is no way possible that you will
ever collect. They know full well there's nothing for anyone to get, and they are also almost immune to being
charged criminally, as most have shitlings that would further burden the taxpayers. This is why they are so prone
to trash restaurants, stores, apartments, and vehicles.
:bugeye 17329

[Coon Club Road]

Most honorable Coon Club Road: As to your initial post on this thread, couldn't your brother check the security videos and identify the filthy buffarilla sheboon sherilla mega-turd sow crap-beast and file charges against it for damages?



This happened late 80's, early 90's, before CCTV or security cameras were widely used in businesses other than banks, likka stoes and maybe the Quick Check.

Mow mow probably rode the bus down from the hood where they all look alike! :lol

[IseDaDiva]

Niggers have a hard time operating "sheenry". Flushing a toilet is obviously over most niggers ability.

The library would have been better off removing the porcelain and dumping 4 or 5 inches of cat litter in the stall!


Cats have better hygiene than niggers. This one even flushes.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0vBE3U0r1g

[Coon Club Road]

Cats have better hygiene than niggers. This one even flushes.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0vBE3U0r1g


Incredible! A house cat with more skills than your average nigger! Not surprising though!
:thumb

[Sandy]

Incredible! A house cat with more skills than your average nigger! Not surprising though!
:thumb

Niggers can barely be trained in how to use a litterbox. I'm still scarred from a picture someone once posted to CO of a niggerpotamus selfie, in the bathroom, with a literal niggerturd (not a niglet) right there in the toilet.

[Coon Club Road]

Niggers can barely be trained in how to use a litterbox. I'm still scarred from a picture someone once posted to CO of a niggerpotamus selfie, in the bathroom, with a literal niggerturd (not a niglet) right there in the toilet.


I think I may remember that... or something similar.

Some crack hoe was taking a selfie which was later posted on a dating website.

The selfie was taken in the shithouse and through the magic of mirrors, you could see a huge chimmy changa in the bowl!

Bitch couldn't even flush that shit away!

Niggers are gross! You can bet a paycheck if they can't be bothered to flush, they sure as shit ain't washin' their paws!

[Magic Nigger Rashad]

This sow beast definitely derived pleasure from this act. These coons be sticking it to whitey and sheeeit all the time. I guess your brother was keeping her down by owning a business and sheeeit.

[tweakstick]

Niggers can barely be trained in how to use a litterbox. I'm still scarred from a picture someone once posted to CO of a niggerpotamus selfie, in the bathroom, with a literal niggerturd (not a niglet) right there in the toilet.


Which one?

1733717338

I guess it's a recurring theme with shit house sheboons.:lol:lol

[Sandy]

Oh dear God, do you know how fast I scrolled past those horrible pictures. I find images of human feces bad enough. But with niggers, it's the regular-sized turd, then the giant walking turd.

:vomit

[Coon Club Road]

Which one?

1733717338

I guess it's a recurring theme with shit house sheboons.:lol:lol


Goddamn that is foul! But aren't all niggers?

[Coon Club Road]

I'm not sure how the rest of the world operates, but a split second after I say it's name, that nigger look alike is on its way to Lake Erie! I think it's called a courtesy flush!

I fold the paperwork like a pointy hat, then send it down to chase the nigger look alike to the lake.

Who wants that smell emanating from the bowl for a split second more than it has to? Except for niggers of course, clearly demonstrated in the photos above. Damn!

[SC Anemia]

From the movie Hall Pass. He just picked up this woman at a bar and was all set to score. :lol


https://youtu.be/h5Tl94R3YVg

[Sandy]

From the movie Hall Pass. He just picked up this woman at a bar and was all set to score. :lol

Just the preview, eww. I'm not going to click that in the same way I was not going to look up the "Good morning son" meme (which you just had to post anyway!).

[SC Anemia]

Just the preview, eww. I'm not going to click that in the same way I was not going to look up the "Good morning son" meme (which you just had to post anyway!).

Just trying to be helpful bro! :rofl

[Coon Club Road]

From the movie Hall Pass. He just picked up this woman at a bar and was all set to score. :lol


https://youtu.be/h5Tl94R3YVg


Damn SC! That would have been the perfect video to attach to my restroom story farther up this thread!


"come here, you gotta see this".

We walked to the men's room, he pointed to a stall and said "look in there".

I have never seen a toilet so fucked up in my life.

[Tar Remover]

THIS! Right here. This is one of the TOP reasons why I hate these fuckin' stupid ape pigs.......